Marriage Problems

10 Ways to Push Your Husband Away

I do realize that my husband is a big boy and doesn’t need me to wait on him hand and foot.  But he is my partner in life and there are many days I am guilty of pushing my husband away.

You may not push your husband away intentionally, but there are 10 things you might be doing that are keeping him at a distance.

1. Computer Time. Shopping, Gaming, Chatting, Emailing, Working, Couponing, Downloading, Blogging, Reading, Researching, Networking—there are a ton of things to do on the computer! I don’t care what they say, for me it is a time sucker, not saver!

2. TV. It doesn’t even matter what’s on the screen. The addictive glow is enough to induce a trance and shut out the rest of the world.  If it’s your preferred method of pushing your husband away, then get a TV timer.

3. Phone Conversations. Ladies, we sure do like to talk! I’m definitely guilty of this one. My sister lives around the corner from me; I talk to her several times a day, and see her pretty much every day. Sometimes my husband will notice that I’m talking to her again and make a comment like, “What could you possibly still have to talk about?” Ouch! It’s time to step away from the phone!

4. Hyper scheduling. Women are natural social coordinators. We keep the parties, classes, trips, events, and practices scheduled to the tee! All of those plans can occasionally make life hectic. Most men enjoy some down time at home. It’s their haven. Schedule some time each day that will allow the family to unwind. Each week make sure that you’ve blocked some time for you all to hang out together at home. Resist the urge to invite anyone else over too.

5. Quiet-less House. This one is a stark contrast to the hyper-scheduling wife/mom. Toddlers and young kids waking up in the middle of the night should be the exception, not the norm.  In my home when several hours go by without peace (aka dinnertime), I can feel my shoulders tense and my forehead wrinkle with stress. If it were like this all day my husband and I would both be attention-starved! Work to create a restful home for at least a portion of the day.

6. Obsessions. Be it a clean house, germ phobia, paranoia, hoarding, eating, or even exercising.  The rituals we obsess about will bump our husbands from their rightful spot as first on the priority list. Identify it, and seek professional help.

7. Body language. You’re thinking it, your body’s showing it, and they’re getting the hint: It’s not gonna happen tonight, baby! Stop hunching your shoulders, take off that old t-shirt, and throw on some lip gloss and a smile because somebody loves you!

8. Shopping Frivolity. This one is not just about pushing your husband away, financial discord is a marriage killer. If he’s a saver and you’re a spender, get some guidance on how to live and love on a budget. And keep your word. If you have a budget, stick to it. If you’re running up to the store for one quick thing, be back at the agreed upon time instead of wandering the mall in an effort to escape your life at home.

9. Making a List. Do you keep constant running tab in your mind of your husband’s mistakes or wrong choices? We know it’s hard to let them go. But eventually that list of wrongs will move quickly to a list of resentments, then to bitterness—which will lead you to a very unhappy life, an unhappy marriage, and an ugly divorce.  Incorporate forgiveness immediately.

10. Your kids. At almost the exact moment our perfect little bundle arrives, we’ve forgotten how they got there. Remember, they were born because two people (you and your husband) fell in love. Your husband was first.

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