When you’re in the trenches of motherhood, a good friend can be a lifesaver. At the same time, certain types of mom friends can be damaging to your emotional and mental health. As much as we want to be part of friendships filled with laughter and connection, we all probably have that friend who wears on us.
After a while, this sort of friendship begins to feel toxic. It doesn’t grow you or energize you. Instead, it drains you. But how do you know if it’s time to end the friendship? Here are 3 types of mom friends you might need to walk away from.
The Mother Judger
Do you have a mother judger in your circle? This friend refuses to cut her fellow moms any slack. You can spot her by her eagerness to put others down in an effort to bring herself up. She always has something to say about other moms’ parenting styles—and it’s usually not praise. Avoid this mom unless you want to fail constantly to meet a bar set too high. Motherhood puts enough on our plates. We do not have time for the shame and guilt this type of friend carries in her purse to playdates!
The Constant Complainer
Is there a constant complainer lurking in your presence? This type of mom friend never seems to be content. You can spot this type by her neverending vent sessions about everything under the sun. Now, don’t get me wrong—all of us deserve a good vent session with our closest pals every once in a while. But be wary of the mom who never has anything good to say about anything or anybody. The vibes of those we spend time with rub off on us eventually, and the negativity this type of mom is sporting is just not cute!
The Commiseration Queen
Are you being paid a royal visit by a commiseration queen? This type of mom friend seems to live in a melodramatic world of “poor me.” And guess what! She would love nothing more than for you to join her. She may nudge you to accompany her in her misery by egging you on. She may say things like, “Isn’t it awful when your kids just won’t stop doing this?” Most likely, she is talking about things she doesn’t like, but is seeking validation through your commiseration. Steer clear of this mom and all her mama drama!
How and When to Respectfully Ditch
Breaking off a friendship is never easy—especially if you have been friends for a long time. But when your mental and emotional health is suffering because of a toxic friendship, you have to make a change.
When your mental and emotional health is suffering because of a toxic friendship, you have to make a change.
If you don’t like confrontation, consider gradually easing up on hangouts. Expect that if you say no several times in a row, she’s going to ask what’s up. As much as it hurts to confront someone with the truth, there is a loving and respectful way to do it. Try, “When we are together, I feel like things get negative and I need some space from that.”
A little confrontation can lead to growth. You became friends for a reason, right? Consider being upfront with these types of mom friends. They might not be aware of their own patterns.
What other types of mom friends can be toxic?