Marriage Problems

3 Things that Could be Behind Your Critical Outlook


Have you ever heard of the “love passage?”  Love is patient, love is kind, love keeps no record of wrongs. Let’s think about that last one… love keeps no record of wrongs. Boy, it’s just so much easier to cling to what is wrong in someone and keep a running list of their faults!  But if you do, it will make you a downright critical mother and wife.

So how can you get rid of that list you shouldn’t be keeping anyway?  First, deal with the 3 things that could be behind your critical outlook.

1. You’re Unhappy With Your Own Life. When we’re unsatisfied with our own life—our husband, our children, our looks—we tend to be more harsh toward others.  It’s hard to be loving and kind-spirited when we’re angry, bitter or envious.  So, if this is you, instead of stewing and seething, identify your issues of discontent, and focus on what’s good in your life.

2. You Have Unhealed Hurts. You’re holding a grudge.  You need to forgive someone.  You can’t move on.  At this point, change what you can, and do your best to accept what you can’t change.  Deal with these hurts so you can look beyond them with an uncritical eye at the people around you. 

3. Your Critical Outlook is a Habit. It seems to happen automatically.  Your husband forgets to take out the trash and you roll your eyes.  Your children obey you 90 percent of the time, but you focus on the 10 percent that they don’t.  You read the news and zero in on the terrible state of the world.  Whew!  Now is the time to redirect your thinking.  Try to be thankful and hopeful.  Dwell on the good things about your husband, your children and your life.  For every critical thought that comes into your mind, rebut it with a positive or proactive thought.

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