Do you sometimes sense that your kids are taking a lot for granted? They may think that access to education, sports teams, and fine arts lessons are just falling out of the sky for everyone. As a result, they may under-perform or fail to appreciate the chance they’ve been given for a better, more enriching life. To teach your kids to value opportunity requires intentional parenting on your part.
1. Education. Research shows that college students whose parents foot the full bill with no clear expectations of the students make lower grades than kids who have to work for it a little more. Why? Because attaching a cost to something gives it a sense of value. If your kids are in a private K-12 school, don’t hide from them the fact that it doesn’t come cheap, and that you expect them to make the most of it by doing their best. If you’re able to pay for your college student’s full tuition and board, make a deal that you only pay if the GPA stays above a certain water line. We all need accountability to push us to our best!
2. Extra-curricular activities. When you’re shelling out big bucks for baseball camps and piano lessons, establish a clear expectation of reasonable effort. Require your child to apply himself—by practicing, etc.—to whatever he’s asked you to fund. Caution: Don’t confuse a lack of talent with a lack of effort. If your child is trying but still doesn’t make the starting line-up or get the lead in the play, that’s fine! His effort shows that he doesn’t take the chance to compete for granted. It’s also important to remember that your child can only give his best to so many things at once. Avoid extra-curricular activity overload, which will spread your child so thin he can’t give it his all.
3. Access to travel and other experiences. If you’re able to take your children on enriching and interesting trips, ask a little something of them in return. Give them each a disposable camera and ask them to keep a photo journal of their favorite sights along the way. Have them keep a written journal each night about what they’ve seen and experienced. Then, when you get home, have a little show-and-tell night where they share their impressions of the experience with the family. It’s okay to also tell them that not every family is able to do those kinds of things, and that you should all be grateful for the chance to go, see, and do.
Related Resource: Gratitude or Overindulgence?
