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5 Things You Should Say to Your Child Today

Five to one. That’s the ratio of positive to negative comments we should say to our kids. I try to be intentional with what I say, but I wonder if my words of encouragement can compete with the amount of correcting and criticism I dish out. I know I have to look for ways to encourage that don’t hinge on my kids’ behavior. Fortunately, there are certain things you should say to your child every day to build them up even if they don’t bring home a gold star.

Try an experiment. For the next seven days, really lean into the positive words. Rotate through these 5 options and see how your kids respond. We bet you’ll see their faces light up and want to make it a habit!

1. “You are a kind person.”

Remind your kids they are kind. Try not to tie their kindness to a specific action they performed or thing they said. Simply remind them out of the blue! If you are speaking with an older child and they happen to ask you why you think they are kind, you can give examples of kindness they display, but try to keep the statements more general in nature.

2. “God made you special by…”

As your kids grow, they will constantly look for a place to find their identity. I remind my daughter that she is God’s creation and that He specifically made her exactly the way she is. Try to point out unique things about your child when speaking this over them. For example, if your child likes to help out in the kitchen at mealtimes, say something like: “God made you special by giving you a natural desire to help mommy in the kitchen.”

3. “I love being your mom because…”

Even on the days when we say motherhood is for the birds, deep down we love being moms to our littles (and not-so-littles)! We should take the time to express this to our children regularly. Tell your kids you love being their mama and maybe even add a “because” at the end every now and again. I often tell my daughter I love being her mama because she makes life fun and unpredictable.

4. “I am so proud of you for…”

Does your child’s face ever light up when you clap as he masters a skill for the first time? He’s beaming because kids love seeing you proud of them. Take time out of your day to remind your children how proud of them you are. You can keep it simple with just that statement, or you can give them a specific reason. One I often use with my daughter is, “I am proud of you for having a big heart.”

Take time out of your day to remind your children how proud of them you are. Click To Tweet

Our partner program, All Pro Dad, has monthly chapter meetings at schools where dads enjoy breakfast with their kids and engage in meaningful conversations and activities. The chapter meetings include “Pride Moments,” when a father gets to say in front of the group why he is proud of his child. It’s pretty powerful. See if your school has an All Pro Dad chapter, or start one at your child’s school, by clicking here.

5. “Thank you for…”

We constantly teach our kids the importance of manners. We encourage them to say “please” and “thank you,” but do we remember to do the same with them? Our children crave appreciation and recognition just as we do, and we should do our best to provide them with it whenever we can.

Whether you are thanking them for throwing their snack wrapper away or simply thanking them for being fun to play with, those two little words sure do go a long way! Be sure to thank them for just being themselves, too. While home with my daughter, I often sprinkle “thanks for being you” into our conversations.

What would you add to the list of things you should say to your child?

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