Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

5 Things That Make Single Parent Discipline Hard

Just when I thought I had this parenting thing down, I became a single mom. Not that parenting ever becomes rote, but we had navigated our oldest all the way through high school and into college. While we hadn’t parented perfectly, and there had been some rocky seasons, my husband and I had a rhythm to our parenting, leaning on each other’s strengths. Our oldest was doing well. After we’d raised him through all the stages, I exhaled a bit.

But a few months later, my husband died suddenly, and I became a single mom of seven. While I continue to adjust as a single mom, one area that has been a particular struggle is single parent discipline. It all rests on me. Whether you’re struggling with parenting alone or co-parenting with a father who doesn’t discipline the same as you, here’s wisdom for 5 single parent discipline problems.

1. Problem: You’re always the bad cop.

As a single mom, you may find yourself having to implement every “no” and all the consequences. It’s wearying, and it feels like you’re using up all your relationship capital.

Strategy: Regain some balance by finding fun with your kids. Learn to smile again, get silly with a tickle war, press pause and play together, and announce surprises like a frozen yogurt run. Find a reason to laugh with your kids every day and look for ways to say yes.

Find a reason to laugh with your kids every day and look for ways to say yes. Click To Tweet

2. Problem: You’re exhausted.chore chart for kids

It’s hard to discipline well when you’re mentally fatigued or physically exhausted. When I’m tired, I tend to armchair-parent, responding to behavior triggers rather than getting up, addressing the situation, and teaching for the long term.

Strategy: Proactively parent. Make chore charts (like our free printable one) instead of nagging. Remind kids of rules before friends come over. Keep an evening bedtime routine. Putting structures in place beforehand will keep you from parenting in reactionary mode.

3. Problem: You’re always on.

I lose a sense of objectivity when I’m with my kids 24/7. I can get into ruts with my tone, my attitude, and my outlook simply because I’ve lost some perspective. When you’re in the middle of a three-ring circus all the time, it can be difficult to find a moment to tame the lions.

Strategy: Carve out regular time to get away by yourself. Whether it’s a night out alone, regular time to go for a walk, or a personal retreat day, single moms need time to think their own thoughts.

4. Problem: You’re super stressed.

Single moms bear so much responsibility, including the children, house, work, finances, future, and even aging parents. That stress can show up as anger, depression, or detachment. When we’re stressed, it’s easy to let that slip into hasty discipline or making empty threats.

Strategy: Make sure you’re taking time for good self-care. It’s simple but true that eating well, exercising regularly, getting checkups, and taking time for yourself can help you handle the stress. A relaxing pedicure or monthly hair appointment can go a long way toward helping you beat stress. While the responsibilities won’t go away, good self-care can make the stress manageable.

5. Problem: You’re making too many decisions.

The sheer volume of big and small decisions a single mom makes is daunting. And making them alone can overwhelm us. It’s tempting just to let discipline go out the window with an “I don’t care. Do what you want.” You know that’s not the right way to handle single parent discipline, but you don’t have it in you to make another decision.

Strategy: First, pray for guidance. God promises wisdom when we pray for it. Second, talk over the really hard decisions with a trusted friend. Finally, don’t re-decide. Learn to decide and then move on, rather than second-guessing and rehashing the decision.

What is a strategy you’ve found that helps with single parent discipline?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

How do you know I love you even when you’re in trouble?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search