“Surprise, I’m pregnant!”
My friend’s announcement wasn’t much of a shock, knowing that she’d been trying to conceive. But the real surprise hit when I heard that it wasn’t just one child, or even twins, but triplets. Instantly, her little family went from party of two, to family of five. I remembered when I received the confirmation that I was pregnant with my first child and how the thought of having one baby seemed overwhelming. Now I was overwhelmed for my friend who would soon care for three new lives. The piles of laundry alone that would accompany raising those babies seemed daunting.
You may not have multiples but you may be feeling overwhelmed with the day to day duties of motherhood. Here’s some mom advice from a mom of multiples.
1. “What works best for your family trumps trends.”
No matter the size of your family, choose what is right for you. Social media and online advice often encourages us to follow the parenting trends. Instead, stick to what is sensible and proven. And don’t get caught up in the pressure to keep up with the mom pack. Trust me, no college application asks when your child was potty-trained or if your child was bottle or breast-fed. Instill what is sensible for you and your child, not what social media trends say you need to do.
2. “Verbalization trumps miscommunication.”
Moms of multiples know the value of verbalizing behavior expectations and communicating them clearly to children. Your repeated requests for good behavior will help keep chaos under control. As an added bonus, everyone’s on the same page. Honestly, this advice is a game changer. Not only does it help children better cope with situations, but your parenting path is clearer too. Letting your child know about consequences for misbehavior ahead of time is one of the discipline basics.
3. “Consistency trumps control.”
Be consistent in building positive cumulative behavior patterns. Children develop good habits when there is consistency in the home. For moms of multiples, having routines and consistency is not a choice — it’s a necessity. And, being consistent is one of the 3 C’s of discipline.
4. “Fun trumps distress.”
The normal stresses of motherhood are especially difficult for moms of multiples because the potentially distressing situations are multiplied. All the more reason, these moms say, to make sure your kids see you acting goofy. You want your kids to see you as more than just the rule keeper and disciplinarian. And, yes, you and your husband can have defined roles, but BOTH of you need to be “fun generators” too. Play is so important to children. Fun at play teaches safe boundaries, respect, and love. Take time to make time for fun.
5. “Delegation trumps disasters.”
Many hands make light work — even if they’re little hands. Delegate as much as you can to your children to keep the disasters of a chaotic home to a minimum. Assign age appropriate chores to teach responsibility and the importance of follow-through. Use our printable chore chart to teach your children the benefits of hard work. I try to teach my children that life is a great rewarder if you pursue the greater rewards in life.
What advice has helped you be a better mom?
Janelle Keith loves lattes, good laughs, and lives to notice the good in others. She is the author of Grace for Your Waist, her story of losing 132 lbs. of weight.
