“Hey, girls. Do you let your teens have Snapchat?” I texted my closest mom friends. Their responses were complicated, to say the least. So I went on a mission: first, to talk with these moms in person and second, to talk to teens—who showed me that the way we think teens use social media apps isn’t always the way they’re actually using them.
My friends and I aren’t experts on the social or cognitive development of teens and social media. We’re just moms trying to answer this question as best as we can: “Mom, can I get Snapchat?” So here is some straight talk from teens and moms about 7 of the most popular social media apps.
What teens say: Instagram is good for posting “all the good stuff you want to show off,” and it’s helpful when you’re being scouted by colleges. It’s good for entertainment, too—watching funny videos or following celebrities. Overall, teens say if they were moms, Instagram would be a YES.
What moms say: Watch who your kids are following (yes, there is plenty of inappropriate content on “Insta”), and follow your teens and their friends. Teens and Instagram isn’t the worst teens and social media combination, but before saying yes, you should read the findings presented in the news about the negative impact of social media on body image, self-esteem, and mental health. Instagram is a YES from us, but only for older teens and only with safeguards in place.
TikTok
What teens say: TikTok is popular because of the fun music videos—both making and watching them. However, it’s easy to lose track of time as it feeds you similar
videos. So if teens were moms, TikTok would be a YES, but only for those mature enough to bypass inappropriate stuff and track their time. Give your teen our Screen Time Tracker printable or use it together to keep an eye on the clock.
What moms say: Moms cringe at the seductive dancing, clothing, and song choices. You can use “Family Pairing” within the app to control some of it, but a lot of inappropriate things still get through. There’s just too much here to monitor, so our conclusion for TikTok was NO.
Snapchat
What teens say: They like Snapchat for messaging and fun filters, but “child pornography happens way too much.” Also, privacy isn’t easy on Snapchat—anyone can see your story, even people who can’t “snap” you, plus “weird and gross things” pop up automatically. Teens say if they were moms, Snapchat would be a NO.
What moms say: Kids sending posts that immediately disappear is a recipe for disaster. They forget their posts can be captured by a simple screenshot and shared with the world. And whether your teen is on the sharing or receiving end of those, it can be harmful. This was one app everyone agreed is a NO.
What teens say: Facebook is for “old people.” So for our teens, this one is a non-issue.
What moms say: “Huh? I’m old?” But back to the teens. According to NordVPN, Facebook is actually the worst with privacy. Yes, accounts can be private, but the app itself tracks your location, camera, and more. Maybe it’s for marketing purposes, but I don’t want to take any chances with my kids. For me, Facebook is a NO.
What teens say: Twitter isn’t popular, but some use it to keep up with celebrities who post sneak peeks (like new music videos) they won’t post anywhere else. Otherwise, most teens say Twitter’s tone is negative. So overall, teens say NO.
What moms say: Our kids don’t need to get every celebrity tweet or sneak peek, and we agree on the negativity. Twitter is a NO.
YouTube
What teens say: YouTube is a good resource—from how to use a flat iron to getting gaming tips. But they admit it can be time consuming, like TikTok, as it autoplays another video when each video ends. Still, teens say this one is a YES.
What moms say: Moms like YouTube Kids, which filters out most inappropriate content, but realize teens are too old for it. YouTube seems like such a mixed bag. If you can watch what channels they are subscribing to and put time limits on it, it can be OK. For us, YouTube is a YES.
What teens say: Pinterest can be summed up in one word: creativity. It is a springboard for ideas for any project. They say Pinterest is an easy YES.
What moms say: We agree, but we also know kids can search for inappropriate things or see images they didn’t intend to see. Help your teen “edit your home feed” if they’ve stumbled upon something vulgar, and again, watch who they’re following. Overall, we say YES to Pinterest.
In the end, only you can decide what’s best for your teenager, given his or her current maturity, readiness, and personality. While it may seem easier to say no to all of it, your child likely will have to navigate social media at some point. So if you choose to say yes, know that your guidance will be necessary and monitoring will be hard work.
If you choose to allow your teen to be on social media, know that your guidance will be necessary and monitoring will be hard work. Click To TweetWhat is your experience with teens and social media apps?
