“Boy-crazy”—when your little girl starts to grow up, the very thought of this phrase causes stress. Wondering how to protect your daughter without following her like a CIA agent? The answer is to do our best to educate her.
When I was a teacher, one of my seventh-grade students came to talk to me about a boy who had kissed her in the hallway after everyone had gone to class. She claimed “he kissed her all of the sudden” and she couldn’t have avoided it. And whether that was the case or not, I wanted this young lady to understand 4 essential rules every girl should know.
1. Avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Be aware of your surroundings. Don’t linger in deserted places, especially after dark or closing time. Keep a friend with you or walk through public, populated places.
Never agree to go somewhere alone with a person you just met. Staying with a group of people can ward off most potential surprises. I always think of Proverbs 14:15: “A fool will believe anything, but smart people watch their step.”
2. Avoid being too touchy-feely.
Some individuals are more physical. They love to hug and touch people. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that (after all, it is one of the five love languages), there is a fine line to walk with physical touch, especially as a tween or teen.
Touching people all the time—grabbing hands, touching backs, giving long hugs—can send the wrong message. Maybe you’re just being friendly, but others can misunderstand what your behavior means.
3. Shift your focus when needed.
Check in mentally with your focus every so often. As a young teen, it’s easy to forget what you are actually supposed to be doing and instead focus just on friends and boyfriends. Ask yourself, “What am I here to do? Am I doing it? How can I focus better?”
For example, if you are having trouble focusing because you’re sitting next to Mr. Cute Boy in the back row, ask to be moved to the front row. Once boys see that your focus is not on them, they will respect you even more.
4. Be vocal.
If you get caught in an uncomfortable moment with a boy, speak up. Say, “I have to go now,” or “You have the wrong idea.” Sometimes the opposite sex just needs to hear exactly what you’re thinking. It’s helpful for both of you.
And if at any point you don’t feel safe, use your voice! Yell, scream, whistle—whatever you can do to get the attention of others around you.
While this is not meant to blame young women in any way for being kissed when they don’t want to be, it’s good to be prepared. You might think these rules are common sense, but part of knowing how to protect a daughter is making sure she is armed and ready with some good tools before heading into the world of dating.
Part of knowing how to protect a daughter is making sure she is armed and ready with some good tools before heading into the world of dating.
And if you are a mom trying to teach your son how to handle aggressive girls (which also happens), follow this link.
How do you teach your daughters to be safe around boys?