Christmas for Single Moms: A Manifesto


christmas for single moms

Christmas for single moms doesn’t always go down with memories of a joy-filled holiday. My first year was actually a stress-filled holiday because I’d set myself up with expectations I couldn’t meet. My children were hurting and I wanted to find the perfect presents to light up their eyes. My 16-year-old son had asked for a shotgun. I was clueless and invested hours of shopping, researching and asking friends’ husbands to find the right shotgun in my price range. I was ready to buy when I overheard my son – who didn’t know all the legwork behind his present – say he’d love a fishing pole. A fishing pole? So, there I was, two days before Christmas, in a baking and cleaning and researching-fishing-poles frenzy trying to put on the best Christmas ever. That day didn’t end well.

Let’s not do that to ourselves. There are unique difficulties at Christmas for single moms, but we can choose how to celebrate. Let’s let ourselves off the hook of stressful expectations by making a Single Mom’s Christmas Manifesto.

The Single Mom’s Christmas Manifesto

I will proactively shape the kind of Christmas that is best for me and for my family rather than react to expectations or pressures of what Christmas should look like.

I will show my children I love them through my words, our activities, and our time together this Christmas rather than trying to win their affection through expensive or excessive presents.

I will be fully present to create memories with my children this Christmas rather than wishing for Christmases past or Christmas as it might have been.

I will give my children meaningful gifts within my budget rather than overextend my finances to try to appease their hurt.

I will give myself permission to grieve what has been lost while at the same time embracing the blessings I have now.

I will fight through loneliness by looking for small ways to bless others through the season, rather than self-medicating with late-night scrolling.

I will say yes to the Christmas party invitation even if it means going solo rather than letting something awkward or hard keep me moving forward.

I will let my children off the hook for making my Christmas special. If there is no gift for me under the tree, I’ll ask them for extra snuggles and handmade cards.

I will make the celebration of Jesus’ birth central to the season as we make new traditions and choose old traditions to keep.

What is the one declaration you can make that will help you shape the best Christmas for you and your family?

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