Featured iSpecialist

Dr. Scott Turansky

A Work In Progress

Imagine a car dealership where a man named Martin works in the showroom. Martin sells cars to prospective customers. When he sees a car without a door, he's surprised and upset.…Imagine a car dealership where a man named Martin works in the showroom. Martin sells cars to prospective customers. When he sees a car without a door, he's surprised and upset.… read more

Should Teens Kiss Dating Goodbye?

Posted on April 19, 2012 by iMOM

When I first heard the title of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I rolled my eyes. I thought dating was a must. How else would you ever find a mate? Then it occurred to me: if we’ve got this all figured out, why do half of all American marriages end in divorce? Obviously, our “dating as a pathway to marriage” model is not yielding great long-term results.

Some parents are bucking the system by discouraging traditional dating. Their kids socialize plenty, in groups, and as friends. But they don’t pair off exclusively with a boyfriend or girlfriend until they’re seriously considering that person as a potential spouse. The idea is to choose someone to date based upon shared values, rather than entering into a romantic relationship based upon physical attraction alone. Some families even agree that mom and dad must approve before any real “dating” goes on.

Whether this new approach makes sense to you or not, the bottom line is that you must seriously consider the potential pitfalls of dating for your teen. If your teen does date, you need to give some thought to the rules that are needed to make that experience as safe and beneficial as possible. Not all teenagers are magically mature enough to handle such a great responsibility at the standard age, and you need to do what’s right for him or her.

Dating topics to think about:

4 Things Your Kids Need to Understand Before They Date

5 Rules for Dating my Daughter

5 Rules for Dating my Son

How to Prevent The Biggest Mistake Your Child Can Make

End your day: Talking with your child

What’s your earliest memory from your life?

This entry was posted in Feelings, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink.

Brittlane2131

I “kissed dating gooodbye” when I was a senior in high school. This was my decision and I was commited to waiting until God showed me whom I was supposed to be with the rest of my life. Now I understand that it won’t be like this for everyone, but 1 month later God spoke to my heart and showed me who I was to date. We dated 6 years, and after graduating college we married. We have been married 6 years now and have two beautiful children. At the time I chose not to date, my friends gave me a didn’t understand, but I trusted God and He allowed me to see His plan on action. Teens are in such a hurry to find someone that they take their own path instead of following God’s. This lifestyle can lewd to many destructive decisions! I believe kissing dating goodbye is great, but there is not much point to it if you don’t explain to your teen why it is important to seek God in their dating life.
Heather Novak

I was (responsibly?) promiscuous in college and as a younger adult. When I became a Christian 9 years ago, God showed me I was validating my worth through my sexuality. The three years of (!) abstinence that followed taught me SOOO MUCH about myself, weeded out unworthy men and led me to the best man & 5 years of marriage I (God really!) could imagine. I share this story when I speak to teens about sexuality…and talk about this book and others. I read it and really see lots of value to two main tenants: Why date when you know it isn’t going to last at such a young age? And if every love (not to mention lover) in your past has a piece of you and stood next to you on your wedding day…what will that look like? FANTASTIC imagery.
Cheree Moore

I didn’t intentionally kiss dating goodbye, I just never dated in high school. Neither did my sister. We had a lot of friends and hung out in big groups, but never paired off. In college this started to depress me. I felt like something might be wrong with me since no guy ever asked me out (I had tons of guy friends, just nothing romantic). I am so thankful it worked out this way. I had years to figure out what it was about boys that I connected with and what I wanted in a future spouse. My JR year in college, I decided that I would choose to be content in my life, no matter what happened. Within a few weeks, I met my future husband. We have been married almost 10 years now and I never dated another person. My sister had a similar experience. She has been married for 8 years. We both feel tremendously blessed to have waited and that we didn’t carry any baggage from dating earlier on.
Steve240

You might find my blog of interest where I critique Josh Harris’s IKDG book. Sadly Harris mentions all the problems he see with dating but doesn’t admit the problems his approach has caused.

http://www.ikdg.wordpress.com

Hope this helps.