Why 50 Shades of Grey is Bad for Moms

Posted on October 12, 2012 by iMOM

The books in the 50 Shades of Grey series are mega bestsellers. If you haven’t heard of them, they’re about a relationship between a dominant older man and an “innocent” younger woman. But they aren’t just your run of the mill romance books. As one New York City book reviewer said, they’re “pornography, plain and simple.” Some readers do admit that, at first, the content was disturbing, but they finished the books anyway, becoming intrigued and desensitized to the shocking content. You see, once we allow our minds to be filled with those types of images, less and less will seem shocking. As another Shades of Grey reviewer wrote, “It says something socially about us that’s a little bit disturbing,”

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Danielle_moore6

I agree 50 shades has some disturbing sexual actions in it, but to say we shouldn’t read it or condemn someone for reading it is wrong. I’ve heard comments from some Christian women that were unkind about women who read this book. Why is ” The Hungar Games” acceptable in the Christian world… To me that was far more disturbing… Children killing children. I only made it through book 1 of that series because of the graphic violence toward children. Sex between 2 consenting ADULTS will never be more disturbing than children fighting children to the death for public entertainment. Food for thought for those of you condemning women for the ” Fifty Shades of Grey” series, but have read all 3 of ” The Hungar Games” and enjoyed them
- Heldfamily 8
  
  I read all three parts of today’s espresso minute and it didn’t seem to me to be condemning at all. In fact I think it was definitely insightful and explanatory. I definitely learned something which is whAt I assume the point of the post was – to educate & inform. I tell my children, if one feels a strong urge to defend one’s point of view from attack even though no attack was made against it, then maybe one should rethink their point of view. Because if one is 100% comfortable with one’s point of view then there is no need to defend or legitimize it to others. “The Hunger Games” is satire. There is a moral lesson to the story. “50 Shades” is nothing but entertainment at the expense of desensitizing other’s morals. I find it interesting that as we try to teach our children to be strong against peer pressure, we women & mothers are just as susceptible to it. Unfortunately it is harder for us to say no b/c we have the unchildlike mature mind of an adult who can conjure up a “good” or okay reason to give in. Why would one want to read these pornographic books just ” because everyone else has and we need to join in the conversation”? In this particular blog post iMOM is only factual and 100% on point.
  - Momof1
    
    I completely disagree with you. I too think this post was condemning those who read “50 Shades of Grey.” Speaking as a mom who hasn’t read either series, I believe I’m an impartial commenter here as I have no agenda either way.
  - Danielle_moore6
    
    I did not read the books because if peer pressure, if anything peer pressure would have made me hide the fact that I read it to some friends… Which I didn’t. I’m also not sure where I said this post was an “attack” but you obviously like to ” read between the lines”. .. Maybe you need to “rethink your point of view”. You are defending an attack that wasnt made They stated their opinion as did I, mine… We will have to agree to disagree:-)
    - Nonsense
      
      An attack was made just in the title of the article . . . “Why 50 Shades of Grey is Bad for Moms. The title alone is discriminating/passing judgement starting the title with WHY. It could be less offensive to some if it started as a question, “IS 50 Shades . . .? So, because I read the books, this makes me less of a mother, wife and christian?
Jo

Thank you for being brave! Pornography hurts marriages, plain and simple. I wonder how many women devour the Bible like they have devoured the 50 Shades books.
- Nonsense
  
  I’ve read both . . . the Bible and the Trilogy. Sorry to not back up your stance, but it did not hurt my marriage at all. You must have strength and confidence in yourself, your husband and the marriage for none of the “bad stuff” in the “big bad world” to hurt you and your marriage as a whole.
Kleesnan01

I have not picked up a book in 25 years and when I did it was 50 Shades of Grey,,,and I am so glad I did, Its just a book that is appealing to people who want to read. Who cares if its bad for you ,You decide I loved it and was very sad when it ended…I recommend 50 Shades for anyone ..
Nonsense

Come on ladies . . . we are adults reading adult material. I have a strong marriage that there is no way the trilogy of 50 Shades affected my relationship in any negative manner. In fact, it might have added a little spice! By the way, the “older man/younger woman” comment posted in the article is not correct. It isn’t even a 10 year age difference. He is late twenties and she is early twenties. What is the age difference in most countries between husband and wife – even here in the US? If you don’t agree with the content, then don’t read it, just don’t try to force your beliefs down everyone else’s throat . . .
Julie

I usually read these and don’t often comment but this post ‘begs’ for it. I have to agree with some of the women below who read and enjoyed the book. My mother in law actually bought all 3 books for my birthday while we were visiting them late this summer. I read ‘a lot’. Is it the best prose I’ve ever read? Probably not, yet she assured me there was a plot and there is. Someone mentioned that in the end, it’s a love story. And she is right. It’s also a story about a very damaged individual (not by his own doing) that needs help and healing. I also have to agree with someone else that mentioned one cannot ‘fix’ another human being. But one can help to create a safe opening for that individual to work on themselves through unconditional love. Which is the case in this book.

Is there some porn in the book? Sure. Who cares? Sex is part of a healthy marriage.The characteres were not being promiscuous but rather in a monogomous and evolving relationship. They also respected boundaries of one another which took a lot of communication. The book actually opened up more disucussion about sex between my husband and I. We already have a solid, healthy and sexually active relationship, this simply built on that.

The set of books are not ‘wrong’ or ‘right’. They simply ‘are’. There is a lot more going in the real world that pales in comparison to ’50 Shades…’. How about posting about something that will generate worthwhile discussion about real issues, not the implied wrong of a fictional book.
- Julie
  
  I meant that “50 Shades….” pales in comparison to things going on in the real world. Should have re read that more closely prior to posting.
Lkw1115

These books helped my marriage and brought back some spice!!! Thank you Mr. Grey:)
Jen

Being a big lefty, and not talking about hand dominance, I guess there are questions you could ask yourself. Pretty open minded when it comes to most things, unless it involves hurting others. I have not read the book and won’t as I teach full time and have a very busy and active family. My question i guess is how would you feel if your son or daughter was the younger character girl in the book? Also, bottom line I guess….is it respectful???? As a teacher of 21 years, I’m on the frontlines of the changes taking place in our society. They just aren’t pretty and very scary, so sad. Just from what little I know, I don’t think I’d want my children in a relationship like that. It’s sad because I imagine the girl/woman was hurt in the book and so many people are so desperate for love they will risk so much to get it. I guess if getting hurt and being in pain is your thing, go for it.
Heldfamily 8

Regardless of how most of you try to make it seem “okay” to read pornography…wrong is wrong and will always be wrong even if one can glorify it w/in your own life circumstances. That’s exactly what desensitization does…leads to a belief that “my circumstances are so exceptional from those who fall for it that I won’t”. Got news for ya, studies have been done & it eventually destroys lives, just like a drug addiction.
The world is a harder place for our children than they were for us b/c those who should be teaching right from wrong to these sweet innocents teach tolerance at any cost as long as its not hurting anyone. But that’s a very narrow minded, timid way to pass through life. If more children were taught tolerance for the human person but discredit for the wrong behavior rather than tying the two together we would have tru tolerance. Instead what we get is a tolerance of the action and a society full of people who don’t truly know right from wrong b/c it can all be declared okay as long as no one gets hurt. Did anyone ever think that the damage & hurt might not manifest itself until many yrs. later in ways not immediately realized?
Pornography in ALL its forms, soft, hard, live, written, virtual,etc, is and always will be wrong. We are sexual human beings. But that sexuality is meant to be special not merchandised as in the case of these books. Once that’s done it loses its specialness and becomes an every day commodity. Do you want your human sexuality to become an everyday commodity, being about as special as a stick of gum is?
Heldfamily 8

Apologies for misinterpreting “I’ve heard comments from some Christian women that were unkind…” as being an attack from those Christian women toward those who were reading the books. My comments are strictly focused on the damage pornography causes and why I agree with the blog post. I didn’t find the post condemning. However if you do and you felt strongly led to comment about it, then maybe at some level you also know that any type of pornography is wrong and a guilty, self condemning conscience led you to respond so you could defend the action of reading pornography to yourself. ???
Amandacoupe

I agree with your article. Thank you for being brave enough to “go against the grain”!