How to Detox Your Marriage
It seems that everyone around me is participating in some kind of detox these days. It’s a way to cleanse the body of impurities and essentially hit the reset switch for better health. (I’ve also noted that, typically, it requires large volumes of kale and a blender.) I’ve never tried it, but I probably should.
What if there were ways to detox a relationship—like your marriage? Simple things you could do to cleanse the atmosphere of tension and conflict and give better communication and closeness a fighting chance? We think there are! So if you want to know how to detox your marriage, try these 3 ways for a fresh start today. No kale required.
1. Detox your marriage by forgiving past offenses.
Nothing wears people out and strains a relationships more than holding a grudge for some long past wrong. And it’s a two-way losing proposition: It exhausts the one holding onto the anger and the offender who’s forever accused. We know there are serious offenses that occur in every marriage that take time and effort to heal from (infidelity, financial mismanagement, etc.). But if you are keeping a death grip on your right to be angry about something in the past, you’re making the air between you and your spouse toxic. Is the problem or issue still unresolved? Fine. Take positive steps to fix it – such as some serious and honest talks, changes to the area of life where the mishap occurred or marriage counseling. If those things have already taken place, the power to detox your marriage rests in your own power to forgive.
2. Detox your marriage by being honest with your spouse.
Dishonesty is a sneaky cancer that can chip away at the foundation of your marriage over time. It almost always starts small: a little fudging of the truth about spending habits or what time you really left the office. But, over time, those little lies pave the way for even more damaging dishonesty—the kind that can kill your relationship and destroy your family. Eradicate those little fibs to create an atmosphere of trust and security with your spouse.
3. Detox your marriage by parenting like a team.
Want to confuse your kids and damage your marriage in one easy step? Stay constantly at odds with your spouse about how to parent. Maybe the two of you have serious differences of opinion on what is best for your child. Work those things out in a spirit of love, compromise, and come to an understanding behind closed doors—never, ever, ever in front of the kids. Once you’ve figured out together what the goals and the rules are, honor them and your spouse until it’s time to reconsider the approach. When you parent as a unified team, your kids and your marriage benefit!
What steps have you and your husband taken to detox your marriage? Tell us about it!
Dana Hall McCain writes about marriage, parenting, faith and wellness. She is a mom of two, and has been married to a wonderful guy for over 18 years.