Raising Girls

Is Your Daughter Boy Crazy?


boy crazy

The romance bug has bitten my tween daughter. She’s noticing boys. She wants to read books with a hint of romance and she wants to read up on the cute guys in the latest movies and TV shows. Hmmm. This day had to come at some point! So instead of letting it take its course without me, I’m diving into her romance world. Why?  If I stay familiar with what’s going on, I can legitimately give input. Like, “So, it’s a little odd that that character would be so heartbroken because that guy didn’t talk to her when she’s only known him for a few days, isn’t it?” Or, “Now that’s the kind of guy who knows how to treat a girl…”

By being a part of the romance world (and sharing the experiences I remember from when I was her age), instead of condemning it, I can help counter the fantasy images that could put my daughter at risk for making bad relationship choices later.

So enter your daughter’s romance world and your son’s too, for that matter.

Here’s how to handle a boy crazy girl.

Observe quietly.

Before you jump in with advice or comments, watch and wait. Don’t’ jump at the first sign that your child is moving into another stage. Take things in so that you can assess what your first move should be.

Don’t embarrass her.

This is not the time to make jokes about your daughter being “in love.” Treat her and her feelings with respect. Teasing will only make her feel like she needs to pursue this new interest in secret.

Stay current.

Who is the big thing now in the movies, books, and TV shows your daughter enjoys? Find out what you can about her areas of interest. Some may be harmless, but others might require you to consider talking to your daughter about her choices.

Be casual.

Not many kids want their mom to pull them aside to have “a talk” about romance.  Instead, try to interject your opinions and comments casually.

Stay calm.

You may want to go into rescue mode if you discover your daughter is falling for the bad boys. But before you panic, realize that many girls go through phases. Yes, let her know why you don’t think this or that guy is good boyfriend material, but be careful not to come down too hard on her.

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In The Comments

What about your daughter?  Is she ready to date?


By: Nancy Jergins


iMOM Contributor

Nancy Jergins has written about relationship and family issues for more than 15 years, and does her best to enlighten and encourage others with her words.



  • http://susanme.com/ Susan Merrill

    Thank you for sharing and the book recommendation, we appreciate your wisdom and experience!

  • Sad Mom

    Am I too old fashion if I don’t allow my kids to “date” at 14 years old? I have encouraged my kids to have friends of the opposite gender but have limited it to friendships. They can have a girl/boy that they like and are good friends with but I think that it is too much pressure on our kids allowing them to get caught up in the social status of having a boy/girlfriend. Seriously, they are 14. They don’t even have a learner’s permit. How are they going to go on a “date”? I want my kids to enjoy the uncomplicated aspect of being teenagers without the drama of a relationship. I want them to have fun and have friends and go and do with all of their friends. They are still figuring out who they are what learning to grow up in little ways. As adults we even have a difficult time navigating the realms of relationships and I feel that it is a set up for disaster to allow our kids to attempt to find their way in something that we struggle with as adults.

    • Amanda

      Your not old fashioned! Your smart!

  • claudia

    I know I was boy crazy from 3rd grade on. Now that I am 40 with a wonderful husband and two boys, I can reflect as to why. Personally, I have always looked for the attention I did not get from my father. He was an immigrant who worked 2-3 jobs to put food on our table, so needless to say, he was never around. Since I loved him so much but did not get to spend time with him, I believe I craved it from other boys. I tell all my friends with daughters to have them spend as much time with their dads as possible. And Dads, please tell her how much you love her or how pretty she is, etc. If she does not get it from the one male she has had since birth, she will be looking for it elsewhere! Just my two sense from a girl who has been boy crazy all her life!







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