Is Your Marriage Slipping into the Future?

the future

Most people (myself included!) spend their lives in the Someday Zone. We say things like, Someday, I’ll… And we fill in the blank. Someday I’ll apply for that dream job. Someday I’ll take my spouse to Europe. Someday I’ll try marriage counseling. Someday I’ll get away for a long weekend with my husband. And before we know it, someday has turned into if only. 

Take it from me, a mom of five. If you’re not careful, the demands of raising a family will push your marriage to the back burner and someday will never come. Then you really will be stuck in if only.

So to keep your marriage from slipping into the future, marriage experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot share 3 tips to consider in their book Your Time-Starved Marriage: How to Stay Connected at the Speed of Life.

Stop Waiting for the Future

We divide our to-do list into two categories: things that need to get done today and things that can wait to get done another day. Buying groceries, filling up on gas, cleaning the kitchen? Must get done today. Snuggling with our husband, going to church together, eating dinner as a family? Those can wait for another day.

Hmm…May I make a suggestion? I think we just might have it all backward! Yes, daily chores are important. But when your husband wants to take you out to dinner, save the laundry for another night and get dressed! Stop waiting for the future and start enjoying your marriage today.

Recognize the Value of Today

Remember that morning when you slept in, ate breakfast in bed, took your kids to the park, rode bikes with your husband, and ate dinner as a family? Neither do I. Because a typical day is more likely full of tantrums, carpools, and mundane tasks. We get so caught up in the meaningless moments that we forget to stop and enjoy the meaningful moments. {Tweet This}

But time is precious. And it’s time we recognized its value. So before you let this day end, walk up to your husband and give him a big hug, or better yet — a big kiss.

Use Your Time Wisely

How we use our time reflects our priorities. Do you spend your time watching reality TV shows? Commenting on social media? Shopping for new clothes? Working out excessively? Gossiping with your friends? Or do you spend your time finding new ways to love your husband? Planning family fun? Encouraging your kids?

If we’re being honest, I think a lot of us waste our time on things that don’t matter. But the good news is that the sooner we understand this, the sooner we can begin to use our time wisely. You can start making the most of your time by taking our 30 Day Marriage Challenge. Don’t put it off until tomorrow… start today.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. So let’s stop living in the Someday Season and reclaim our time today! So now the real question… Do you think you can do that in real life?


  • Jennifer

    Such a true article. I get wrapped up in taking care of work & daily obligations that then when my son and husband get home I have nothing left. There are only a few short hours in the evening before travel soccer, homework, dogs etc. and that doesn’t take into account dinner…which most times is drive thru. (Which I hate!) Your article made me tear up because it reminded me how regretful I feel for not spending more time with my Dad before he died last year. I’d give anything to have the chance to sit with him again and listen to him rattle on about his old stories, the same ones I never had the patience for when he was here. To not have lectured him about what “I” thought he should do but to appreciate him for the kind, humble man he was. I’m so busy trying to keep up and keep order that I’m not having fun. My husband gets up at 5:30 in the morning, drives an hour and a half one way to work, then gets home and takes our 15 yr old son to every soccer practice and watches while others drop their kids off or send them in carpools. He says that one day he won’t get to do it and he doesn’t want to wish he had. I stay home to finish chores and try to get to bed. I think I need to take a page from my husband and this article and go sit with my husband at soccer practice and watch our son….who’s a fantastic goalkeeper, by the way!
    Thanks for all you do at imom!
    Jennifer Pickett
    North Carolina