iSpecialist

Dr. Gary J. Oliver

Dr. Oliver has over 30 years experience in individual, premarital, marital and family counseling and for the past 20 years he has had an extensive nationwide teaching ministry with Promise Keepers and The American Association of Christian Counselors. read bio

Love and Loss

Dr. Gary Oliver is an iMOM iSpecialist. A psychologist, Dr. Oliver is the Executive Director of the Center for Relationship Enrichment and Professor of Psychology and Practical Theology at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas.  In 2007, Gary lost his wife Carrie to pancreatic cancer.  They had been married for 25 years. She was only 48 years old when she died. Here is what Gary wrote on his first Valentine's Day without Carrie.

I wasn't sure what to expect on this very special day. This was the 1st time in 28 years I didn't get Carrie several Valentine's Day cards. Usually, I'd get her atleast 3-4 and send some before and then always give her one or two the day of along with some flowers, and both a serious and silly gift. I made it through Valentine's Day feeling sad, aware of being alone with no "lover" to send cards to or surprise with flowers, and no cards to open from my beloved wife. (Yet) at the same time (I have) a very FULL heart and gratitude for having been loved and having been able to love in ways that most people never experience. In 27 years of marriage I never had any reason to wonder about her faithfulness or love for me, nor did she have to worry about mine for her. I refuse to let my ache and sadness over what I've lost rob me of the enormous joy of what I had and, through precious memories, what I still have. 

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