- Lauren Dungy
- Shaunti Feldhahn
- Tim and Darcy Kimmel
- Betsy Landers
- Dr. Walt Larimore
- Mark Merrill
- Joanne Miller
- Dr. Gary J. Oliver
- Kathy Peel
- Dr. Greg Smalley
- Dr. Scott Turansky
- Jill Savage
Articles by Dr. Greg Smalley
- Winning Your Husband Back
- Why Teenagers Like to Argue
- Ways to Communicate Effectively
- Watch What You Say or Later You’ll Pay
- The Secret To Protecting Your Marriage From Infidelity
- The Secret to Becoming a Balanced Parent
- The Meaning of Leaving and Cleaving
- The Heart of Marriage
- The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children is a Strong Marriage
- The Danger of Negative Expectations
- Talking Through the Touchy Subjects
- Six Ways to Build a Friendship with Your Child
- Six Adolescent Needs….Meet Them or Else!
- Protecting Fun Activities from Conflict
- Men and Intimacy
- Is Your Heart Open to Love?
- I Wish My Daddy Was A Dog
- I Feel Loved When You...
- I Don't Love My Husband Anymore
- I Believe in You!
- How to Make Wise Decisions...And Stay in Harmony
- How to Heal a Wounded Heart
- How do my thoughts affect my view of my spouse?
- Home: The Safest Place on Earth
- Helping Teenagers Resist Peer Pressure
- Forget the Weeds in Your Life, Focus on the Flowers
- For The Love of Hannah
- Do I deserve time for myself?
- Communication: 5 Harmful Marriage Communication Habits
- Communication That Can Cause Further Distance
- Becoming a Better Listener
- Become a student of your husband
- A Small Act of Kindness
- 6 Tips for Marital Conflicts Without Casualties
- 5 Ways to Stop Sibling Rivalry
- 4 Parenting Styles
Dr. Greg SmalleyDr. Smalley also helps lead marriage seminars around the world and helps train pastors, professionals and lay leaders how to effectively work with married couples. read bio
How to Heal a Wounded Heart
"We long for a great marriage. Amazing marriages happen when two people are wholeheartedly engaged inside their covenant relationship. Being fully open allows love (along with peace, patience, kindness, goodness…) to flow freely between spouses. Life circumstances and significant people have a way of wounding us. Our job is to heal these wounds so we can get back to whole-hearted engagement." Greg Smalley
Here are the steps Greg recommends to open the door to your heart:
Identify the Wounds and Messages: We must identify the wounds and messages that have attacked our hearts. Use this list of key words to help you identify any lies that have been inscribed on your heart.
Not Good Enough
This is deep, tough stuff, so here are a few recommendations you may find helpful when identifying what's blocking your heart:
a. Don't go it alone. Pray. Ask God to help you.
b.Think back over your childhood—specifically recall any traumatic events, disappointments, or times you were hurt or scared. What were you feeling? Did you tell yourself anything? What message did you receive from the incident?
c.Recall a recent conflict with your spouse. What were you feeling? Was it any of the feelings on the list?
1. Replace the Message with the Truth: Just because you know the truth from the lie doesn't mean the battle is over.
God is the only one who can erase what has been etched on your heart. He will reveal His truth about you when you seek Him. You can do this by praying and reading His Word.
2. Nurture and Care for your Heart: The wounded heart needs consistent attention and care—especially while your wounds are still healing. Here are some ways you can nurture your heart:
Maintain a close relationship with God
Memorize scripture so you can remember the truth about who you are!
Learn how to identify when your heart is open or closed
Take notice of your feelings throughout the day and put a name to them
Validate your own feelings
Whenever you are feeling something get inquisitive. Ask, "I wonder why I'm feeling that way."
Find healthy ways to manage your emotions
Offer loving correction to someone when they offend or hurt you.
Build healthy relationships with people who give you a safe place to open your heart.
Become aware of your likes and dislikes.
Accept compliments from others.
Learn to set boundaries.
More Information on This Topic:
Information and quote taken with permission from The Wholehearted Marriage: Fully Engaging Your Most Important Relationship, by Dr. Greg Smalley and Dr. Shawn Stoever.comments powered by Disqus