- Lauren Dungy
- Shaunti Feldhahn
- Tim and Darcy Kimmel
- Betsy Landers
- Dr. Walt Larimore
- Mark Merrill
- Joanne Miller
- Dr. Gary J. Oliver
- Kathy Peel
- Dr. Greg Smalley
- Dr. Scott Turansky
- Jill Savage
Articles by Dr. Scott Turansky
- Why Firmness Doesn't Require Harshness
- Why Fair Doesn't Mean Equal
- What's Your Child's Personality Type?
- Time Out or Take a Break ?
- Three Factors to Remember About Character Training
- The Value of Generosity
- The Unmotivated Child
- The Secret to Prompt Obedience
- The Secret to Helping Children to Do What’s Right
- The Secret to Constructive Discipline
- Teaching Children about Sex
- Taking a Break vs. Time Out
- Strong-willed Kids
- Some Suggestions for Dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder
- More Than Obedience
- How to Stop the Whining and Complaining
- How to Make Parenting Shifts
- How to Bookmark the Good Days in Parenting
- How to Avoid the Boxing Ring with Your Kids
- Honor one another – even your brothers and sisters!
- Honor Lessons
- Honor favor #9: Adopting others
- Honor favor #8: Helping others in conflict
- Honor favor #7: Speech
- Honor favor #6: Prayer
- Honor favor #5: Generosity
- Honor favor #4: Service
- Honor favor #3: Ministry
- Honor favor #2: Hospitality
- Honor favor #1: Modeling
- Honor Changes People
- Helping Children Deal with Their Anger
- Gratitude or Overindulgence?
- Emotions are Complex Tools for Communication
- Discipline - Run the Parenting Race
- Defibrillating Your Child's Heart
- Dealing With Anger in Children
- Character Training Step 6: Follow-up – Continue to Work on Solutions
- Character Training Step 5 Motivation – Inspire Change
- Character Training Step 4: Treatment – Provide Instructions for Working on the Solution
- Character Training Step 3: Solution – Name and Define Each Solution
- Character Training Step 2: How to Diagnose Strengths and Weaknesses
- Character Training Step 1: Observation – Recognize the Problem
- Character Training – A Systematic Approach
- Behavior: Getting to the Heart of It
- Attitudes – Bad to Good
- Affirming Effort Toward Right Behavior
- A Work In Progress
- 8 ways to prepare your children for dealing with tragedy
- 7 Ways to Teach Self-Control
Dr. Scott TuranskyDr. Scott Turansky offers moms practical, real-life advice for many of parenting’s greatest challenges. read bio
Three Factors to Remember About Character Training
You may feel that progress is slow and end up asking yourself, "Am I getting anywhere?" If you feel discouraged, consider three things.
First, keep in mind that you're building a tape in your child's head. To understand the idea of building a tape, think about some things your parents taught you: "Turn off the lights before you leave the room"; "Eat your vegetables"; "Be nice to your sister"; "Say excuse me." Did you heed their instructions? Maybe not as much as your parents would have liked, yet their words still play back in your head. Parents don't always see the impact of their words. But your kids are listening, and you're building a tape in their heads as you lovingly and consistently prod them to action.
Second, pray for your children often. Pray that God will use your words and actions to make lasting, positive changes in their lives. God is at work for the long term. He is in the process of changing people and molding hearts that follow after him.
Third, if you find that you're encountering a lot resistance from your child, consider his or her relationships and activities. Sometimes a child's environment works against the very character you're trying to develop. Bad influences can be a challenging enemy. Bad influences in your child's life, such as negative friendships, are at the top of the list. Limit them (or eliminate them altogether if possible), but don't just target people as the only bad influences in your child's life. Reading material and entertainment choices also affect children and youth.
One mom said, "I realized that my daughter was getting her ideas for books to read from a popular teen magazine. I helped her see that there were other books that had better values, and I showed her how to locate them. I helped her find more appropriate reading material that fit better for developing her character."
It's Worth It!
In the end, a character-development approach to child raising pays huge dividends. Children may forget the individual issues, but they will remember the character qualities. You can successfully address deep-rooted problems in children's lives over time through a character-based approach.
Excerpt from Eight Tools for Effective Parenting by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Used with permission.comments powered by Disqus