- Lauren Dungy
- Shaunti Feldhahn
- Tim and Darcy Kimmel
- Betsy Landers
- Dr. Walt Larimore
- Mark Merrill
- Joanne Miller
- Dr. Gary J. Oliver
- Kathy Peel
- Dr. Greg Smalley
- Dr. Scott Turansky
- Jill Savage
Articles by Dr. Walt Larimore
- Your Child Needs a Well-Child Checkup
- You Are the Key to Your Teen’s Well-Being
- Why Energy Drinks Are Bad for Your Teeth
- Why Bottled Water is Bad for Your Teeth
- Why Baby Media Does Not Advance Learning
- Whooping Cough Epidemic
- What Is the Genetic Link With ADHD?
- What Is My ADHD Child Feeling?
- What about Adopted Children?
- Weight Loss That Works…and Keeps Working
- The Ten Commitments of Great Parents
- The Teen Years--Ready, Set, Go
- The Parental Team--It Takes Two
- The One Thing Your Kids Need to Avoid for A Good Night’s Sleep
- The Different Layers of Health Care
- The Death-Defying Power of Healthy Marriage
- The Crucial Importance of R.E.S.T.
- The Attributes of Great Parents
- The ADHD Child
- The ABCD's of Parenting Teens
- The 12 Ways of Hands-On Parents
- Television and Childhood Obesity
- Superfoods for Women
- Summer – Fun, Food, Fellowship, and Fat?
- Study shows no link between increased cell phone use and brain cancer incidence
- Small Changes Bring Big Results
- Showing Gratitude for Partner's Generosity
- Quality Time or Quantity Time?
- Postpartum Depression
- Poll Shows Sex within Marriage is More Fulfilling
- Obesity: Television, Video Games and Your Children’s Health
- Obesity: Soft Drinks Effect Health
- Obesity: It’s a Killer Epidemic
- Obesity: Children and Fast Food
- Loud Music and Teenage Hearing Loss
- Learn as much about ADHD as you can
- Is Chocolate the Next Super Food?
- Is ADHD Different in Boys and Girls?
- Is ADHD Associated With Risk-Taking Behaviors?
- How to Change These Four Bad Habits
- How to be Happier and More Satisfied
- How Common Is ADHD?
- Hepatitis C and Tattoos
- Healthy Holidays
- Hands-on Parenting: How it Works
- Good Relationship with Dad Can Help Fight Stress
- Fast food and your family
- Explore Treatment Options
- Dr. Larimore’s 11 Tips for Weight Loss Success
- Disciplining Older Kids
Dr. Walt LarimoreWalt Larimore, M.D. has been called “one of America’s best known family physicians.” He is a nationally-known and nationally sought after speaker and health expert. read bio
Disciplining Older Kids
Here are Six Keys to Protecting Teens through Discipline
Long before I left my medical practice I had read every Dr. Dobson book on how to raise children and be a good parent. Dr. Dobson articulated his classic principles so well I don't think you have to go anywhere else.
Barb and I felt as though we were sitting at his feet whenever we read — and reread — a chapter from Dare to Discipline or The Strong-Willed Child.
From Dr. Dobson's writings, we found six key principles, which I outlined in God's Design for the Highly Healthy Child and apply here to teens:
1. Define the boundaries before they are enforced.
Teens have the right to know what is and what is not acceptable behavior before they are held responsible for breaking the rules. You can't say "You have to be in by 11:00 p.m." and not tell your teens what the consequences are for being fifteen minutes late, thirty minutes late, or one hour late.
If you're going to enforce curfew by the minute, then say so. If you're going to have a fifteen-minute grace period before they're officially late, then say so.
Either way, let them know in advance what the consequences are for breaking curfew.
2. Avoid making impossible demands.
Sure, all parents would love their kids to take AP courses, get high SAT scores, and have 4.0 report cards. But few teens are capable of being whizzes in the classroom. Even in this era of grade inflation, a straight-A report card is still a rare event in school these days.
By the same token, some dads want to relive their glory days on the gridiron, so they place subtle pressure on their sons to be All-League football players when in actuality they contribute to the team in a backup role.
Parents should set the bar, but it takes a thoughtful parent to place the bar just high enough to push his or her teen to greater heights without deflating the ego.
Is your teen performing at a level that makes sense for his or her gifts and abilities? If so,you've set the bar at the right height.
3. Distinguish between irresponsibility and willful defiance.
Teens can act goofy sometimes or like little Machiavellians. There's a difference between irresponsibility, such as leaving the car windows down overnight when a thunderstorm hits, and willful defiance, such as coming in after midnight when he knew full well he should have been home an hour earlier.
This is an area where you can show grace — God's grace — as you effectively discern what your teen's motives were for his or her acts of negligence or defiance.
4. When defiantly challenged, respond with confident decisiveness.
Intuitively you know the difference between irresponsibility and willful defiance, and when your teen has thrown down the gauntlet, you must respond in kind.
Dr. Dobson suggests that when children "make it clear that they're looking for a fight, you would be wise not to disappoint them!"
When nose-to-nose confrontations happen, it's extremely important to know ahead of time what you will do — and then to respond confidently.
5. Reassure and teach after the confrontation is over.
Remember how you hugged your toddler after a spanking to let him know that everything was going to be all right?
You don't spank teens, of course, but they still need to hear your reassurance that you love them. You may need to remind them of the ways they can avoid correction or punishment in the future.
Teens never outgrow their need for reassurance after times of discipline.
6. Let love be your guide!
It doesn't do any good to get into a shouting match. Sure, your teens will do things to make you angry, but you must keep your cool.
During these few remaining years they live under your roof, you have a powerful opportunity to model adult ways of handling conflict, which will help them in the workplace and in their relationships in the future.
Used with permission from the book, God's Design for the Highly Healthy Teen by Walt Larimore, M.D. with Mike Yorkey. (Zondervan)
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