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Articles by Mark Merrill


Mark Merrill

Mark Merrill is the founder and president of Family First, a widely respected national non-profit organization dedicated to strengthening the family. read bio

3 Ways to Have a Team Mindset in Marriage

Your Spouse is Not the Enemy

He’s having a blast with his buddies on the golf course; she’s back at home cleaning the house.  She’s out having fun with her friends; he’s back home mowing the yard.  “I’m always the bad guy,” she exclaims. “How come you get to go play with the kids and I’m the one who always gets stuck disciplining them?” Or, he says, “You just got a new couch, so why can’t I spend a measly 100 bucks on some new fishing gear?”

Husbands and wives who aren’t careful can sometimes find themselves keeping a scorecard.  They keep track of who spends more, disciplines more, does the dishes more, cleans more, mows more and works more. If couples aren’t careful, they can become bitter and resent the other for not helping enough or for having more fun.  If not addressed, a husband and wife can even feel like enemies.

So, if you find yourself keeping score, what should you do?

1. You were designed to complete each other, not compete with each other. Marriage is the ultimate team sport and marriages only work well when husbands and wives remember that they’re on the same team.

2. We know that love is not jealous or selfish. Love is all about giving. So, a loving wife knows when her husband needs support and she helps him.  She encourages her man. Here are 10 Things Husbands Want to Hear from their Wives.  A loving husband sacrifices and gives time to his wife when he senses she is overwhelmed.  He cherishes his woman and ensures her physical and emotional health.  He encourages her. Here are 10 Things Wives want to Hear from their Husbands.

3. As you go through your day ask yourself, “Is this a good decision not only for me, but also for my mate?” And, “Is this something that’s going to help our team or hurt it?” Teamwork in marriage requires a selfless, sacrificial, and giving mindset.

What will you do today to remind your spouse that you’re on the same team?

© 2012. Mark Merrill. All rights reserved. Originally published at

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