Marriage & Love
Conflict: The 5 "Do-Over" Rules for Spouses
Uh-oh, did you say something you shouldn't have said? Are you wishing you could do it over? Our rules will help keep you and your husband's request for re-play safe. Remember, this isn't a get-out-of-jail free card. Essentially, a request for a do-over is a request for forgiveness—an admission of wrong and a desire to make it right.
1. Stop the conversation, immediately. Once you realize you've missed the ball, dropped the pass—or whatever other sports expression you want to incorporate here—then right away, stop the play (just had to get that last one in).
2. Ask for the do-over, with humility. A way to phrase this so your husband will agree to it is, "Honey, I think I just said something the wrong way. May I please have a do-over?" If your spouse agrees to it, move on to step three. If your spouse says no then ask for forgiveness and resolve to do better next time, and let it go.
3. Take a minute to regroup. Rephrase your thoughts in a manner that is not accusatory, negative or sarcastic, or whatever your tendency is. In other words, correct your mistake.
4. Re-run the play, correctly. Try it again. Remember just because you've been given this re-play doesn't mean you'll hit it out of the park. In fact, you may strike out. The objective here is to ensure fair play.
5. Hi-Five, or fist pump, with enthusiasm! When your team gets it right, you have to celebrate! So congratulate each other with some encouraging words and physical contact. And hey, you're married so you can get a little more physical than just a high-five.
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