My Kids Saw Porn. Here Are the 3 Things We Did Next.

A few months ago, my kids saw pornography. We were celebrating a holiday and had a home full of family and friends. A close friend gave our kids a box of old baseball cards without first checking the box thoroughly. There was a DVD cover at the bottom, filled with sexually explicit pictures. One of the kids snatched up the cover and brought it to us. My husband and I immediately threw it away and started saying silent prayers for our kids. It accidentally entered our home, but the damage was done by the time we realized what happened.

I knew our kids would be exposed to pornography someday. We just didn’t think it would be this soon. I mean, my kids are 8, 7, and 5. Researching how to talk to your child about porn was nowhere on my radar. I figured I had time to get some more knowledge under my belt. I was wrong. So we had to take these 3 steps.

1. We talked about it.

My husband and I talked to our kids together and individually. We explained that what they saw was not part of God’s design. All parts of the body are beautiful and special, but we have to teach kids that certain parts are private and not meant to be misused.

All parts of the body are beautiful and special, but we have to teach kids that certain parts are private. Click To Tweet

Our kids asked questions and shared their thoughts and feelings. They specifically asked why people would take pictures like that. We explained that some people don’t have the same respect for the human body that we do. My husband and I talked about how something good (like our bodies) can turn into something bad (like pornography) when used for the wrong reasons or in the wrong ways.

2. We educated ourselves.

Knowing my kids first saw pornography at such a young age broke my heart. I still remember the first time I encountered porn (I was much older than they are) and those images were seared into my mind forever. I hate that for my kids, and my heart breaks that their innocence has been shattered. So I mourned, and then I educated myself on what I should do next and how to talk to your child about porn.

We researched, purchased a book to read to the kids, and refused to ignore the issue. The book Good Pictures Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson was really helpful. We’ve also been using the book series God’s Design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones when teaching our kids about sexuality.

3. We relied on our circle.

I have a small circle of loved ones whose advice and prayers I value. I talked with each of those women. Their life experiences gave them different perspectives on how to talk to your child about porn. They reminded me that no matter how uncomfortable and saddening my kids’ questions may be, I needed to answer them. They also urged me to reinforce that my children did nothing wrong and that they should never feel ashamed for what they saw.

Here’s the good news.

Yes, when your child sees pornography, it cannot be undone. But the steps you take going forward are pivotal. It could trigger the start of a valuable conversation about sex, human dignity, temptation, addiction, and a host of other important issues. Since all of those topics can’t be covered in one conversation over ice cream, consider this incident to be the key that unlocked a door to a healthy dialogue between you and your kids.

How have you talked to your child about pornography?