My Parenting Fail and Pinterest Fail


parenting fail

The latest Pinterest fail I actually witnessed happened to my daughter. She found a pin that showed, what looked like, a great way to make hair shiny by adding cinnamon to your conditioner. So she tried it. The next thing I knew she was calling me frantically from her room because her skin was turning red and burning after the cinnamon had washed over her in the shower.  Pinterest fail. Now for my parenting fail which is far more serious than a Pinterest fail: I let one of my children get in the habit of speaking to me disrespectfully. I let my emotions (my love for my child) cloud my good judgment. So when this child spoke to me in a disrespectful tone or with a sassy attitude, I really didn’t hear it. I’ve tried to rectify my mistake, but it’s been a whole lot harder correcting a parenting fail than a Pinterest fail! Here are 4 ways to fix your parenting fails.

1. Stay calm.

When it finally hit me that I had a parenting fail, in my case my child speaking disrespectfully to me, I panicked. “Oh, no,” I thought. “It’s too late to get this kid back on the right track! I better do something right now… help!!!” After that initial reaction, I realized things would go a lot better if I calmed down and assessed things—minus the panic.

So when you have a parenting fail, try not to condemn yourself, overreact, or give up. Take a deep breath and face the problem head on.

2. Consult the experts.

Sure, I write about parenting issues; but, believe me, I know when I need to look beyond my own insights. First, I prayed for guidance. Next, I turned to experts whose views on parenting I greatly admire, Dr. Scott Turansky, and iMOM’s own director, Susan Merrill. Their practical and proven advice gave me hope.

When you come face to face with your own parenting fail, seek out experts whom you trust. Maybe you have a great friend who is wise and astute. Ask her what she would do. Don’t try to go it alone because you feel too embarrassed to share your failure. More than likely, even the expert you turn to will have had a few parenting fails of their own.

3. Come up with a plan.

Once I looked over the ideas I’d gathered, I started writing out a plan of action. First, I would talk to my child about the reasons children are to respect their parents. Next, I would lay out an avenue for said child to approach me with points of disagreement—respectfully. Finally, I would tell this child what would happen if respect was not given.

Before you start trying to right your parenting fail, come up with your own course of action. Think about the first step you’ll take and then think beyond it two or three steps further. Anticipate the barriers you might face so you’re able to respond to them well.

4. Do the plan.

After I came up with my plan, I put it into action. I wrote out cheat sheets for myself as to how to respond when my child did fall back into disrespect. (Hey, it’s a learning process, right?) I reminded myself of the benefits of this process when the going got tough with its execution. I also motivated myself by focusing on all of the wonderful things about my child and how correcting this one area would help so much with overall maturity and development. I also offered a lot of praise when my child showed the least bit of improvement.

Set yourself up for success by keeping your plan in front of you. If you’ve come up with some key points, take a look at them every morning before your day gets away from you. When you feel like your parenting efforts are still in the fail category, remind yourself that children are like cars on an assembly line, a work in progress. That happens to be great advice from one of the go-to experts I mentioned, Dr. Scott Turansky.

You can right that parenting fail, mom! We’re pulling for you. Do you have a parenting fail? Please tell me I’m not the only one!

Comments


  • Stacey

    This hit home. I have the very same “parenting fail”. He’s an angel with the the general public, but pushes the limits with me (mom).

    • Stacey, that sounds just like the child I wrote about! Well, I guess we should be thankful our kids are at least not being disrespectful to others. 🙂 Nancy

  • Sarah

    Ditto on ALL fronts. I had a very wise friend at church tell me (after he couldn’t BELIEVE that my son was disrespectful at home because he is so impressive at church and everywhere else) that “If the only place he is acting out is at home, you have ALREADY won!” After thinking he was surely crazy, I realize that the Lord used him at that precise moment to speak hope and encouragement in to my parched spirit. As I have come to pray and “sit” with this statement for some time now, I can see more clearly that my husband and I are the “rocks” that he keeps bashing himself against because deep in his heart, he knows that our love for him will NEVER change. I know in my heart that “this too shall pass”. Growing up is the hardest thing we’ve ever done, both my son and me. ……Onward Christian Parents!!!!

    • Terri Naulta

      My son and I have problems he is five years old. He disrespects me and screamsan acts like he’s crying when he don’t get his way. He away listened to his ex step father more than. Me I’ve tried to be calm patient. An use a stern voice when I’m serious it don’t seem to work with him. I’ve tried time out an taking stuff away he likes the most and grounding him. By not letting him go outside to play. I’ve even tried whooping him with my hand on his bottom likemyom did me when I was young. Nothing has worked I’ve even tried talking to him he doesn’t listen or look me in the eyes when I’m talking to him. He’s even got mad an upset when I’ve said he was I’m trouble an can’t go out side one time he kicked me. An he’s hit two different times. An love told him he didn’t need to do that just BC he’s mad am upset BC he don’t get his way. So of you can please help me. An give me some advice I’d really appreciate it.

      • Terri Naulta

        A specially when he plays with his toys he acts like there beating each other up or have them say I’m gonna kill you. I told him he don’t need to play like that or make his toys act like that. An that he better not play with other kids like that. I asked him why he plays with his toys like that. An he says because a the superheroes kill people and beat them up. An I told him no they don’t they try to help them an they give the bad guys over to the police. So the police can help them. Them become better people.

  • Paula24

    I believe there is also another step, figuring out what is going on with the child. Sounds like a great kid. Maybe asking some open ended questions about what’s going on with them and acknowledging how they are feeling (mad, sad, tired,etc.) would go a long way. Leaving the lines of communication open for that particular discussion, not shutting it down with judgments/lectures/etc. Then later, when everyone is calm, having the discussion about what you expect and how they should handle their emotions in a healthy way.

  • Angie Meadors

    I have to say my largest parenting fail was not wanting to face my parenting fails. I wanted to be the “good cop”. What I realized was I needed to be a “good mom”. So thank you for help as I make the journey. The parenting tools I have gained and continue to learn from iMOM are priceless to me and my son.