The latest Pinterest fail I actually witnessed happened to my daughter. She found a pin that showed, what looked like, a great way to make hair shiny by adding cinnamon to your conditioner. So she tried it. The next thing I knew she was calling me frantically from her room because her skin was turning red and burning after the cinnamon had washed over her in the shower. Pinterest fail. Now for my parenting fail which is far more serious than a Pinterest fail: I let one of my children get in the habit of speaking to me disrespectfully. I let my emotions (my love for my child) cloud my good judgment. So when this child spoke to me in a disrespectful tone or with a sassy attitude, I really didn’t hear it. I’ve tried to rectify my mistake, but it’s been a whole lot harder correcting a parenting fail than a Pinterest fail! Here are 4 ways to fix your parenting fails.
1. Stay calm.
When it finally hit me that I had a parenting fail, in my case my child speaking disrespectfully to me, I panicked. “Oh, no,” I thought. “It’s too late to get this kid back on the right track! I better do something right now… help!!!” After that initial reaction, I realized things would go a lot better if I calmed down and assessed things—minus the panic.
So when you have a parenting fail, try not to condemn yourself, overreact, or give up. Take a deep breath and face the problem head on.
2. Consult the experts.
Sure, I write about parenting issues; but, believe me, I know when I need to look beyond my own insights. First, I prayed for guidance. Next, I turned to experts whose views on parenting I greatly admire, Dr. Scott Turansky, and iMOM’s own director, Susan Merrill. Their practical and proven advice gave me hope.
When you come face to face with your own parenting fail, seek out experts whom you trust. Maybe you have a great friend who is wise and astute. Ask her what she would do. Don’t try to go it alone because you feel too embarrassed to share your failure. More than likely, even the expert you turn to will have had a few parenting fails of their own.
3. Come up with a plan.
Once I looked over the ideas I’d gathered, I started writing out a plan of action. First, I would talk to my child about the reasons children are to respect their parents. Next, I would lay out an avenue for said child to approach me with points of disagreement—respectfully. Finally, I would tell this child what would happen if respect was not given.
Before you start trying to right your parenting fail, come up with your own course of action. Think about the first step you’ll take and then think beyond it two or three steps further. Anticipate the barriers you might face so you’re able to respond to them well.
4. Do the plan.
After I came up with my plan, I put it into action. I wrote out cheat sheets for myself as to how to respond when my child did fall back into disrespect. (Hey, it’s a learning process, right?) I reminded myself of the benefits of this process when the going got tough with its execution. I also motivated myself by focusing on all of the wonderful things about my child and how correcting this one area would help so much with overall maturity and development. I also offered a lot of praise when my child showed the least bit of improvement.
Set yourself up for success by keeping your plan in front of you. If you’ve come up with some key points, take a look at them every morning before your day gets away from you. When you feel like your parenting efforts are still in the fail category, remind yourself that children are like cars on an assembly line, a work in progress. That happens to be great advice from one of the go-to experts I mentioned, Dr. Scott Turansky.
You can right that parenting fail, mom! We’re pulling for you. Do you have a parenting fail? Please tell me I’m not the only one!