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Good Character for Kids: How to Teach Gentleness to Your Kids

A wise man once said, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Gentleness is a gentle giant.  It may seem meek, but it is actually quite powerful.  A gentle answer can turn away wrath.  A gentle question can diffuse defensiveness.  A gentle mother can put her children at ease.  Gentleness is one of the traits in our Good Character for Kids series. Here is how to teach gentleness to your kids:

1. Show gentleness to others.

If you huff and puff your way through your day, your kids will too.  If you’re brusque and rough in your dealings with others, your children will pick up on that.  When you feel like you’re going to explode, think gentle.  Take a deep breath and respond gently.

2. Show gentleness to your children.

Some moms have no problem being gentle to those outside of their family, but when it comes to their husband and children, they’re anything but gentle.  So the next time your child upsets you, don’t respond with anger or sarcasm; again, think gentle.  Answer gently. Respond gently.  You can still make a firm point, but do it with gentleness.

You can practice gentleness on school mornings.  Instead of barking, yelling, and rushing, be gentle. You can convey a sense of urgency, but you can be gentle while you do it.

3. Look for gentleness training opportunities.

If you have a pet, encourage your children to handle it gently.  When they do, praise them.  Same goes for how your kids treat babies and younger children – show them how to be gentle.

4. The anger / gentleness connection.

Even young children can learn how to respond to anger gently.  The next time you hear your children arguing, step in and do a little role playing.  It would sound something like this:

Mom: Okay, guys, come over here.  Let’s try that one more time, this time trying to be gentle.  Ethan, ask your sister, nicely, for your truck.

Ethan: Isabella, give me my truck please.

Mom: That was great, Ethan.  Now, if Isabella answers you in a mean way, what should you say back?  Well, instead of getting angry back, treat her gently.  Try it, and, Isabella, you pretend that you are angry and don’t want to give Ethan his truck back.

Isabella: No! I don’t want to give your truck back!  Leave me alone!

Ethan: I really would like my truck back.  How about playing with it for a couple more minutes and then giving it back?

Mom: Ethan, that was great.  Did you see how being gentle with Isabella stopped the anger between you two?

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