Self-control is tough, even for adults. Ask anyone who’s ever started a diet on January 1st! As parents, we are tasked with helping our kids learn self-control, but it’s not quite as simple as teaching the ABCs. There’s no catchy song for self-control! But if we help grow this important quality in them, kids can make appropriate decisions and respond to stressful situations in ways that can yield positive outcomes.
For example, if you say you’re not serving ice cream until after dinner, your child may cry, plead, or even scream in hopes that you will give in. But with self-control, your child can understand that a temper tantrum means you’ll take away the ice cream for good and that it’s wiser to wait patiently. Here are 7 suggestions for helping little ones learn to control their behavior.
Self-Control for Kids Up to Age 2
1. Distract your child.
Try to prevent outbursts by distracting your little one with toys or other activities. If you think about it, this is how many grown-ups enable themselves to resist snacking on unhealthy treats. They divert themselves with another activity or option.
2. Give it a name.
Name what you’re trying to teach. Say, “We are growing your self-control muscle! See? You can wait like a big kid!”
3. Have a timeout.
For kids reaching the 2-year-old mark, try a brief timeout in a designated area—like a kitchen chair or bottom stair—to show the consequences for outbursts and teach that it’s better to take some time alone instead of throwing a tantrum.
4. Give kudos.
Sing your child’s praises when he or she does show self-control. Praise your child by name and mention specifically what he or she did. “Morgan, you did a great job showing self-control by waiting your turn!” Toddlers might be too young to understand every word, but they’ll hear your tone and get excited!
Self-Control for Kids Ages 3 to 5
1. Adjust timeouts.
You can continue to use timeouts, but rather than enforcing a specific time limit, end timeouts once your child has calmed down. This helps your child improve his sense of self-control.
2. Plant seeds.
Help your child believe in him or herself by planting seeds with your words. Say, “I bet you can wait five minutes until we get home to have something to drink. And I bet you can do it without complaining.”
3. Reward your child.
Praise your child for not losing control in frustrating or difficult situations. Make a big deal of his or her success with our Printable Self-Control Award Certificate.
Do you have any tricks for teaching little kids self-control? Share them below!
Adapted with permission from KidsHealth.
