I had a great day at work—like, epic. As I drove home I held in my excitement and thought about filling in my husband. When we were settled at home, I started to tell my story, but he was preoccupied and responded to me with one-word answers. I could tell he wasn’t really listening, which totally took the wind out of my sails.
Suddenly, I felt like I didn’t want to tell him my news after all. If I told him and he wasn’t excited, it would squash my joy, and I didn’t want a downer after such a good day. Instead of getting frustrated with him, I shifted gears and told him about the study I’d recently read that revealed a strong predictor of whether a couple is in a happy marriage. Think he got the message?
Learn how to read a room (or just your spouse’s emotions).
A study by psychologists at the University of Toronto shows that relationship satisfaction directly correlates to our sensitivity to our partner’s positive emotions. This confirms past research that found it’s important to read your partner’s emotions and realize they are different from your own. Partners who assume their spouses have the same emotions as they do have a lower likelihood of saying they are in a happy marriage.
By sharing this study with my husband, I was telling him I needed him to celebrate with me. Fortunately, he got the hint and stopped what he was doing. We sat down together so I could finally share my good news with him. I noticed three positive side effects.
Relationship satisfaction directly correlates to our sensitivity to our partner’s positive emotions. Click To Tweet- It built greater emotional intimacy because I realized I could trust him with things that were important to me and that he cared about whether or not I was happy.
- It made us feel a greater sense of unity because now the positive experiences were something we shared together rather than just being something that happened to one of us.
- It multiplied my joy. Having him express joy because of my good fortune made me happy that he was happy, which multiplied my positive feelings.
Are you interested in ways to pray for your husband? And here are some other habits for happy couples.
Would you say you have a happy marriage? How do you react to your husband when he’s had a great day?
Cassandra Soars has published various national magazine articles on a wide range of topics, including life in Mozambique, Africa, where she lived for five years. Her first book Love Like Fire: The Story of Heidi Baker is available on Amazon.
