“This kid Ryan wants to meet up at the movies on Saturday, but when he asked for my number to coordinate it, I had to tell him I didn’t have a phone,” my son said with a frown. “So, I gave him your number.” I sympathized and patted his arm. “Good idea,” I said. “What movie is it?” Over the past year, I’ve gone back and forth, debating whether my kid should have a cell phone. But I keep returning to the same answer—no.
My 14-year-old wants a cell phone. Sometimes I want him to have one too. It’d be so much easier to know when to pick him up after school! Plus, he’s a good kid, so why not? But as I looked more into the issue, I found that cell phones came with some pretty big problems that I felt weren’t worth it for my kid. So, what do you think: Should kids have cell phones? These 7 problems gave me enough reason to say no.
1. He could become unhappier.
“What’re you doing?” I asked. Instead of finishing his homework, my son sat perusing Minecraft videos on the computer. He shrugged. “I needed a break.” I suggested he get up and stretch his legs instead. According to Dr. Jeremy Schmoe of the Functional Neurology Center, there’s “a correlation between time spent on screens and social media and degrees of unhappiness … the less time kids spend on their phones and tablets, the happier they are.”
With a phone, it’d be harder to control how many times my child turns to a screen, and I don’t want his mental health to suffer.
2. She could become addicted.
My friend found her daughter texting late one night and ended up taking her phone away. “She got super upset,” my friend said. “But it was after midnight! I only caught her because I had to go to the bathroom and saw the glow coming from her room.”
Using the phone late at night, feeling the need to respond to messages right away, or using the phone to counteract sadness are all signs of a possible addiction.
3. His social skills could suffer.
“Why were you watching YouTube videos in science class?” I asked, checking my son’s viewing history on his school-issued Chromebook. “We had free time,” he said. So instead of chatting with the kid next to him, he turned to his screen. He told me he wasn’t the only one.
Kids already have a lot of screen time in school. Rather than give him another screen, I want my son to talk to people in person. Reading facial cues and learning other social skills are important for well-being and success down the road.
This topic is one that puts most parents at odds. We took it to the iMOM Podcast in the episode, “Should Kids Have Phones?” Listen here and subscribe to get new episodes every Monday.
4. She could be exposed to inappropriate content.
During the pandemic, my kids and I participated in a national, online book club. As we watched, an inappropriate image appeared on screen. The moderators quickly cleared it, but the damage had been done. We couldn’t un-see that disturbing image.
When you give kids a phone with internet access, the likelihood for them to unintentionally view something they shouldn’t increases. Safeguards help, but they don’t prevent everything from getting through.
5. He could be bullied.
A mean girl called me names in study hall for about a month, but every time I left school, I left that bully behind. Back then, we didn’t have phones. But now that’s different. Phones are always on. A bully can follow your child home, bother him in his living room, or bedroom, or anywhere he looks at his device. Bullying can continue around the clock and go anywhere with your child as long as he’s connected to his phone.
Research by psychology professor Elizabeth Englander found that a cellphone increases the likelihood that kids will become victims of bullying or even become bullies themselves. Kids who get bullied are then dealing with a nonstop problem that could lead to depression, anxiety, or even suicide. If my kid had a phone, I could be inviting bullies, unknowingly, into my home. I don’t want to chance that.
6. She could waste lots of time.
Last Saturday, I dumped a basket of clean laundry on my bed when my phone dinged. Happy for the distraction, I saw a deal alert at one of my favorite stories and sat down to take a look. Before I knew it, an hour had passed and even though I hadn’t bought anything, I had several things in my cart.
Phones can be major time wasters for people of all ages. But unlike their moms, kids are still learning how best to manage their time with schoolwork and other activities. I don’t want to give my kid a device that’ll make it harder for her to learn time-management skills. With less time hunched over a phone, there will be more opportunities for reading, being active, or having conversations with family members. All have positive health benefits!
7. He could get hurt.
I often see kids walking home from school, necks bent, eyes glued on their phones, seemingly unaware of their surroundings. Just the other day, I saw a seventh-grader on his bike, eyes on his phone. Biking while on the phone isn’t safe. With a car, the stakes are even higher.
Some situations may justify a phone. But if so, perhaps consider an old-school flip phone, or even a watch, for only texting and calls. By keeping your child off the internet and off screens more often, the likelihood of a happier, healthier childhood goes up.
By keeping your child off the internet and off screens more often, the likelihood of a happier, healthier childhood goes up. Click To TweetWhat do you think? Should kids have cell phones?
