I recently went to a meeting at school where two moms I was sitting with were having a passionate discussion about what time their kids go to bed. I could tell they were both trying to be friendly but were getting defensive. The one whose kids don’t have a bedtime said, “They can stay up as late as they want. They have to face the consequences of their actions.” The other said, “My kids would be so grumpy. I’d be the one to pay. That’s why they have a strict 8 o’clock bedtime.”
It was interesting to listen to them defend their decisions. I know I’ve done the same thing. I feel like I need to justify the kind of mom I am. Sometimes when we argue our point, the people we’re actually trying to convince are ourselves. But being a good mom is so much more than picking an appropriate bed time or packing a healthy lunch. It’s even more important than choosing the right kind of discipline. If you’re wondering if you’re getting it right (you probably are), here are 3 basics of being a good mom.
1. Being a good mom means you’re attentive to your children.
Researchers at the University of Southern Maine found that people who could not see their cell phones had a better focus on a task than those who could see them. Yes, just having the phone within your line of sight distracts you from what you’re doing. So it makes sense that the “task” of focusing on our children is better performed when our phones are put away.
Phones aren’t the only distractions though. What takes your attention away from your kids most? Maybe it’s the pile of laundry that has to get folded. Juggling it all isn’t easy, but when our kids make a bid for our attention, just putting the distraction aside for a moment shows them they matter. Being an attentive mom doesn’t mean you are engaging your children every moment. It does mean that when your children need your full attention, you give it to them.
2. Being a good mom means you do all things with love.
Love should encapsulate all we do with our children, from having fun with them to disciplining them. That means that we are firm with our children, but not harsh. At the end of a long day, or sometimes even at the beginning, it’s easy to lose your cool, lash out, say something hurtful or sarcastic, or forget that kids are kids. Often, if you can just pause for a moment, take a breath, and say the word “love” to yourself, you’ll make better choices and lead your children with love.
Love should encapsulate all we do with our children, from having fun with them to disciplining them. Click To Tweet3. Being a good mom means you show that you’re human.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is being a good example of how to handle life. So let them see you cry when you’re sad. Let them hear you give yourself a pep talk or say a prayer to get out of a funk. Show them that it’s OK to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and apologize when needed.
Can you go a whole day without taking a photo of your children?
