The Truth About 5 Marriage Myths

marriage myths

If you believe most of the marriage myths and bad news about marriage, you can get discouraged. But today, we have some good news about marriage. Author and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn studied 5 marriage myths and proved them wrong!

In her new book, The Good News About Marriage, Shaunti says that these marriage myths aren’t just inaccurate, they’re dangerous!  Here’s how she puts it:

Essentially, the subconscious bad news beliefs about marriage and divorce are like a slow-acting poison. It is not that a couple starts out halfway expecting to fail (although that might be the case for some). Most start out believing—truly believing—that they will beat the statistics. “We’re going to be in the 50 percent that make it,” they think on their glorious wedding day. But the first time they have a major string of arguments, some start worrying. Somewhere down deep, they start thinking that they might be in the wrong half after all.

Here’s the truth about 5 marriage myths…

  1. The actual divorce rate has never been close to 50 percent. It’s significantly lower and has been declining over the last thirty years.
  2. Most marriages aren’t just so-so. The vast majority are happy.
  3. The rate of divorce in the church is not the same as among the non-churchgoing population. It too is significantly lower.
  4. Remarriages aren’t doomed. A significant majority survive and thrive.
  5. Most marriage problems aren’t caused by big-ticket issues. So being in a marriage, or fixing a troubled one, doesn’t have to be as complicated as people think. Little things can often make a big difference.

Ultimately, we simply think it is important for you to hear the truth we found in the numbers and see the very real, overwhelming evidence for some heartening conclusions about marriage, not just the discouraging ones you have heard up until now. Yes, some very real bad news is out there. But the good news is out there too. And it can give some much needed encouragement to marriages today.

To learn more about the truth about marriage, check out Shaunti’s book.  And if you feel discouraged about your marriage, here are some ideas to help.

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In The Comments

What do you do when you feel discouraged in your marriage?


  • Mandy Varga

    I know there will be good days and bad. I think communication is a must! Just talking stuff out makes me feel better.

  • Jeremy Tracey

    Shaunti – isn’t it true that the divorce rate has been dropping because fewer people have been getting married? Thanks for what you do.

    • Caroline Niziol

      Hi, Jeremy! Caroline here from Shaunti’s team — that’s a common question, but although lower marriage rates are indeed one reason divorce is on the decline, they aren’t the main reason. By far, the primary reason we are seeing less and less divorce is because people are getting married at older ages… also, the cohabitation rate has been quite high for many years (it was already 58% 20 years ago). Shaunti’s research in the book (The Good News About Marriage) covers those points more specifically. Hope that is helpful!

      • Jeremy Tracey

        Thanks Caroline, how does co-habitation contribute to the lower divorce rate? Thanks

        • Caroline Niziol

          The argument often goes like this: more people cohabitate these days instead of getting married, unlike previous generations — so that’s why divorce is lower. But the facts I mentioned — and the greater detail in the book and Shaunti’s extensive (8 years!) of research — show that’s not really the case.