Why It’s Okay to Say You’re Not Okay

im not okay

We really want to yell, “I’m not okay!” But instead we say, I’m good. I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m alright. Ever said these words in response to someone asking, “How are you?” Were you being honest? Sometimes I’m not good, okay, fine, or alright. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed, sad, hurt, and scared. In our world, we so commonly respond with the stock answer that life is good and coasting along, but in reality, we all know that things aren’t always okay.

Fellow mommies, it’s okay to not be okay! Life is not always great and it’s time to stop pretending that it is. Being authentic that life can be hard at times makes you real and honest. Now I’m not saying that you need to spill out all life’s troubles to everyone you meet all the time. But I am saying that being real about not being okay with people you trust is a good place to start.

Here are four ways letting others know you’re not okay can help you.

1. Admitting you aren’t okay helps to take off the pressure.

When you look like you have it all together, you portray an image of perfection. You get put on a pedestal and others expect you to live up to it. Even worse, you expect yourself to live up to it. Striving for perfection in order to keep your image alive can be exhausting and bring a lot of pressure on yourself. When you admit your humanness to others, relief from the pressure sets in.

2. Admitting you’re not okay helps you become a safe person for others. {Tweet This}

When you can embrace that it’s okay to not be okay, you become an honest person in the eyes of many. I’ve had clients fear they will be judged as weak if they let their flaws show, but in reality, many people see an authentic person as someone they can trust. This will help deepen your relationships to a more fulfilling level.

3. It allows others to help you.

Are you one of those people who helps everyone else, but never lets anyone help you? Maybe it’s too hard to let others help because you don’t want to be a burden. I know some people worry about others feeling put out or even annoyed when asked to help. However, most people like how if feels when they help others and pay it forward. When you are real about your struggles, it gives others a chance to repay your kindness.

4. You will have a chance to grow.

Hiding our struggles keeps them in the dark, but when we open up and bring issues into the light, we have the chance to grow. Denial is a place people get stuck. Unfortunately, when people stay there, issues can build up and grow into even bigger problems when ignored for too long. When you admit you’re having a difficult time to yourself and others, you have an opportunity to make a change and healthy improvements.

So, ladies, it’s time to be real and vulnerable with people around you and live a life of authenticity. Remember it’s okay to not be okay. I know this is easier said than done. So tell me, what makes it hard for you to be open about what’s really going on in your life?

Teri Claassen is a Jesus follower, wife to Dan, mommy to one boy and one girl, a foster mom to kids in need, and a therapist at Renewed Horizon Counseling in Tampa, FL.