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13 Things Teenagers Do but Shouldn’t

Ever shake your head at things teenagers do? They need freedom, but they also need guidance. They want opportunities to make their own choices; we want to feel comfortable before we give them those chances. Teenagers often think they should have more freedom than they can actually handle, and while there are no “bad teens,” there are kids who rebel more than others. Even if a teen is responsible, there are things teenagers do that they just should not be doing.

Parents make the mistake of thinking it’s not worth it to hold a teen to this standard. Teens will be teens! But if we pretend we don’t care, like we have zero confidence in our kids to make healthy, responsible choices, we set them up for disaster. Here are 13 things teenagers do but shouldn’t.

1. Send inappropriate texts.

According to a survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 20% of teens send or post nude or semi-nude photos of themselves, and 39% send or post sexually suggestive messages. Make it clear to teens that they can’t control who sees this content, and it never truly goes away. Many girls say being asked for a nude photo is flattering. Remind your daughter that a guy who really likes and respects her would never ask her to do that.

iMOM’s Cell Phone Contract and Family Internet Contract can help you set expectations and keep tabs on how your child uses technology.

2. Drink.

A 2019 survey conducted by the CDC found that 29% of high school students had consumed some amount of alcohol in the prior 30 days and 14% binge drank. Five percent of respondents drove after drinking and 17% rode with a driver who’d been drinking. Alcohol increases teens’ risk of death or injury in a car crash or other accident and may permanently alter their still-developing brains. No amount is truly safe at this age. Research from 2022 also shows that people who drank heavily as teens were more likely to have health and substance abuse problems throughout life. The legal drinking age is 21 for a reason.

Use our Drinking and Drugs Discussion Guide to start the conversation with your teen.

3. Live off fast food.

Your teen is busy with classes, rehearsals, practices. It’s tempting to eat convenient, unhealthy food. But bodies and minds that are still growing need good nutrition. Having family mealtimes is good for nutritional and relationship reasons. This is a gut-check for parents (no pun intended): Eating too much junk is often one of the things teenagers do when it’s what they see their parents do.

4. Misuse prescription drugs.

Teenage culture is built on risk-taking and new experiences. Some kids abuse Adderall because they’re under so much pressure to succeed in school that it feels like a necessary study aid. Teens also notoriously find other substances to experiment with, and they usually don’t come from a shady dealer on the corner. They come from your medicine cabinet. Dispose of unused prescriptions and keep tabs on other medications, especially opioids like Vicodin.

5. Overuse caffeine.

More teens today are fueling with energy drinks and coffee. While these drinks are legal, high levels of caffeine can cause health problems and mask your child’s need for food and sleep. Additionally, the teen trend of combining energy drinks with alcohol is extremely dangerous. A 2022 Columbia University article says that “caffeine has no nutritional value but plenty of side effects that negatively impact health.” And the American Academy of Pediatrics says that “no one of any age, especially zero to 17, should have energy drinks.”

6. Stay online constantly.

According to the Pew Research Center, in 2022, over half of 15- to 17-year-olds said they use the internet almost constantly; over a third of 13- to 14-year-olds said the same. These findings aren’t surprising when 95% of teens have access to smartphones. Too much screen time comes with potential health issues: obesity, difficulty sleeping, eye strain, behavior problems, depression, and other mental health issues. Rather than being on screens, teens should be with friends and family, getting exercise, or pursuing other hobbies.

7. Hide social media.

Social media is part of how teens connect, so we shouldn’t expect them to stay off of it altogether. But having accounts you don’t know about or not accepting your friend/follow requests should be a deal-breaker. Once you’re on the platform they’re on, learn how it works and the slang they use.

8. Watch porn.

Too much screen time increases the chances of teens seeing porn. Once they’ve seen it, they can’t unsee it, and some will return to it. Porn teaches kids that sex is a commodity, not something to be valued with a spouse. It can be addicting, and addicted teens may need intervention. The nonprofit Fight the New Drug states that “most kids today are exposed to porn by age 13.” That includes girls. Monitor your teens’ internet use. Keep screens out of bedrooms. Put safeguards on all devices. Even one run-in with porn can pique a good kid’s curiosity.

9. Have sex.

While the risk of pregnancy is reason enough to help teens avoid sex, lesser-discussed repercussions like STIs, depression, and an increased risk of suicide are just as real. There’s also a teen mindset that oral sex isn’t “really” sex—but it, too, comes with risks. Make sure your teen understands birth control alone can’t protect you from the perils of sex, and that waiting spares teens undue stress and heartbreak.

Some parents think encouraging abstinence is outdated or unrealistic, but doing so communicates that you believe teens are capable of waiting—and that might just be the vote of confidence they need.

Some parents think encouraging abstinence is outdated or unrealistic, but doing so communicates that you believe teens are capable of waiting—and that might just be the vote of confidence they need. Click To Tweet

10. Come and go unannounced.

It takes real work to know where your teen is, who he’s with, and what he’s doing. Staying aware makes it harder for your teen to engage in activities you want him to avoid. So do that hard work. Ask, then verify. And that phone you pay for needs to be on and answered every time you call.

Expect teens to push back on your keeping tabs. They won’t like it, but communicating that you care about their whereabouts is another way of saying you love them.

11. Text and drive.

The risk of teens being injured or killed in crashes rises dramatically when in the car with other teens or using a phone behind the wheel. Teen crash risks also skyrocket when alcohol’s involved. Make sure your teens drive safely by requiring them to abide by iMOM’s Teen Driving Contract, and revoke privileges when necessary. Hold yourself to this same standard. You can’t ask them to not text while driving if they see you doing it.

12. Stay up too late.

Johns Hopkins pediatrician Michael Crocetti, M.D., M.P.H., says teens need nine to nine and a half hours of sleep per night, which is more than 10-year-olds need. More sleep supports teens’ growth but “also helps protect them from serious consequences like depression or drug use,” Crocetti says. Help teens get the sleep they need by turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime. Screens prevent sleep-inducing hormone melatonin from kicking in.

13. Vape.

Teens who smoke think vaping is a healthy alternative, and teens who never smoked pick up a vaping habit because they think it’s harmless. The truth is, 30.7% of e-cig users start smoking within six months of vaping, and there are cancer-causing chemicals in the vapors.

What would you add to the list?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

Name a time you felt tempted to do something you knew you shouldn’t do.

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