I’m convinced we are given the perfect number of children for us. Some women are meant to pour all their love into an only child, while others are destined to have a gaggle of kids piling into a Sprinter van. Years ago, I met a mother with more kids than I think I’m equipped to handle, and she shared some parenting basics and wisdom.
I sat in awe as she talked about life with a house full of littles. Sure, the older kids helped with the younger ones, but she’s still the mom. The cues and the tone for discipline and family life still trickled down from her. Every mom wants a home where her kids feel loved and cared for, and I walked away from our conversation having realized that whether you have one, four, or more kids, there are some parenting basics every mom can apply to reach that end. Here are 3.
1. Lower your voice when angry.
I have a temper from time to time. I admit it. I also admit that when my toddler was still a baby, I lost my temper with her and yelled at her. Since then, I have learned to communicate my anger in a healthier manner because the last thing we want our children to remember is Mom’s temper, right?
Speaking low and controlled instead of yelling when you’re angry takes self-control, but it’s much more effective. Yelling puts kids in shut-down mode or causes them to increase their volume. When you deepen your voice and make it barely audible, your kids will naturally tune in more closely. Keep your strong, loud voice for outside play and to keep them from danger.
What Kind of “Angry Mom Are You?”
2. Teach attentiveness.
Attentiveness is a crucial skill kids need to learn, and the earlier, the better. The mom I met defined attentiveness as showing the worth of a person by giving undivided concentration to his words and emotions. I love that connection between being attentive and communicating worth. It’s important no matter how many kids you have. So I try to teach my children not only to stay near me when I’m talking but to look at me, listen to me, and respond to me. Attentiveness also impacts obedience and self-control. A child who listens attentively has a much easier time learning obedience as well as self-control.
A child who listens attentively has a much easier time learning obedience as well as self-control. Click To Tweet3. Practice good behavior.
Every child shows behaviors parents don’t like. They demand, rough house, talk back… When we see bad behavior, it’s good to correct it, but what’s even better than correcting the bad is practicing and pointing out the good. If your child yells, “Mom! I’m thirsty. Pour me some water,” you could correct her by saying, “That was rude. You need to speak with better manners.” Or you could say, “Let’s try that again. How about ‘Mom, I’m thirsty. Can you help me pour some water, please?'” By helping your child practice good behavior, you’re setting her up to make better decisions in the future. When she does, heap on the praise.
What are other parenting basics you try to stick to with your kids?
