One Lysa TerKeurst quote that hits home for me says, “Our emotions should be indicators, not dictators.” I bet if my kids could fully understand what that means, they’d wholeheartedly agree—because I have a problem with mood swings and managing emotions.
On one of those days, I found myself yelling at my kids on the way home from school because I’d gotten reprimanded at the office. This was after I realized I left my lunch in the back seat of the car and it spoiled. I sat in traffic for 45 minutes, and when the kids got in the car and were bickering, I didn’t even say hello; I just unleashed my frustrations. But by the time we pulled into the driveway, I’d relaxed and put on a smile. The kids just stared at me, wide-eyed. It was a full-blown mood swing, and my kids were the victims. I realize it’s unfair that my kids don’t know what mom they’re going to get. If your moods often dictate your parenting, here are 4 ways to work on managing emotions so you can get back control.
Deal with it!
Ignoring your moods only hides the problems. If you’re swinging into a bad mood because of stress, anger, worry, or personal responsibilities, a healthy response is to acknowledge it and take steps to work through it. When I had a few days in a row of feeling gloomy, a friend noticed and said something. I told her, “I am just feeling really down right now. I’ll be OK. I just need some time.”
Over the next day or two, I prayed, and I wrote down the things I could and couldn’t control. I focused on gratitude and looked around for things that were going right in my life. I spoke words to myself in the morning and at bedtime that reminded me of my identity and worth. If the kids are around and you’re feeling the mood take over, say something like, “Kids, I’m in a bad mood. I don’t want to take it out on you, so I need you to give me a little space for a minute.”
Don’t give in!
Too often, we let our circumstances dictate our attitudes. When a coworker stormed in the office one morning and said that “that traffic jam just ruined my day,” I thought, “But you’ve got 14 more hours ahead of you!” Sure, she may have been venting, but too often we allow outside forces to affect our spirit. When you feel a mood coming on, pause for a moment and remind yourself that whatever that thing is that has set you off, it’s not important enough to rob you of your joy, and it certainly isn’t enough to make you lose your cool with your kids.
Own it!
A mom who owns her emotions and shows self-control provides her kids with stability and safety. You can only control yourself. If you are trying to control others’ moods, that’s not your assignment. But what you can do is set an example for your kids to model. You can’t force your child to drop the grumpy attitude, but when you are struggling with your own, you can talk your kids through what you’re doing to deal with it. “I’m going to take a walk outside for a couple of minutes. I feel a mood coming on. It’s mine to deal with, not yours.”
A mom who owns her emotions and shows self-control provides her kids with stability and safety. Click To TweetForgive yourself for it!
If we beat ourselves up every time we let a mood swing get the best of us, we’d send ourselves right back into the mood! Let go of the times you’re not proud of. I once yelled at my kids in the middle of the driveway because they were taking too long to get out of the car. I was annoyed, tired, and I had to go to the bathroom (really badly). I think the neighbors heard me lose it on them. Years later, I still recall that incident, but I don’t beat myself up over it. I use the memory as a reminder not to discipline my kids with my emotions.
If you are suffering from mood swings or are having a tough time managing your emotions, consider seeking help from a licensed therapist or trusted physician.
What steps have you taken to gain control over your emotions?
