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3 Reasons You’re Exhausted (and the Most Effective Way to Reenergize)

There is nothing more elusive in our house than a working charger. The wall block goes missing, a kitten chews the cord, or the cord suddenly stops fitting into the tablet, phone, computer, whatever. What that leaves us with is a house full of devices in the red zone. You know the red zone, right? The less than 20 percent battery zone. The shutdown, plug-in, and reenergize zone. But it’s not just the electronics that need a charge. We all need one, too.

Do you ever feel like you’re running on empty with no charger in sight? Or maybe you’ve tried getting rest with a monthly massage and that’s just not making a difference. Well, there’s actually a tried and true way to reenergize, but for it to work, you first have to change how you think about rest. Here are three things too many moms say about rest and the most effective way to recharge.

“I’ll rest when…”

You know, I’ll rest when the school year ends. I’ll rest when my kids are bigger. I’ll have time to chill in the next season. After nearly 15 years of mothering, I know this: each season of motherhood has its own opportunities for moments of rest and its own dangers for burnout. My kids used to take naps and go to sleep hours before I did. Here, in the middle season of mothering, they are usually at activities, games, and hangouts long after I’m ready for bed. But now I don’t have to load anyone into the car to go to the grocery store anymore. I can stroll the aisles of Target alone.

How to recharge: Practice a Sabbath day and lean into the quiet moments you have in this stage of parenting. If you have little ones who move constantly, spend your Sabbath with another family so the kids can play together. Older kids? Give everyone a break from chores and tech, and take an afternoon nap.

“I am resting.”

Have you done it, too? Plopped down on the couch exhausted and instinctually reached for your phone, giving in to a scroll session and telling yourself you are recharging. How about a late-night binge of that new Netflix show? I’m afraid we have been sold a bill of goods, friends. Though there is nothing wrong with the scroll or the binge, it is not real rest. Real rest is not just not working. Real rest also includes plugging into what really brings you life. Think about it, if we merely shut our phones down when they reach the red zone without plugging them in, they’ll never charge up.

How to recharge: Does food bring you joy? Practice Sabbath with a big meal and family around the table. Don’t rush to clean up. Let everyone eat seconds. Do you feel full of life after a run outside, digging in your garden, or reading your Bible? Do that with no time limit. Sabbath is all about giving ourselves permission to do what delights our souls. Don’t settle for a fake rest.

“I don’t need to rest.”

I recently heard that both Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher boasted that they only needed five hours of sleep a night. It was a badge of strength, I suppose. Unfortunately, both of those world leaders developed Alzheimer’s disease, which has been linked to a lack of sleep. That’s extreme, I know—but resisting rest can do damage. We push through the warning signs of burnout or breakdown, subconsciously telling ourselves we are stronger than the red zone. In his book Invitation to a Journey, Robert Mulholland says what we all know: “We live as though our doing determines our being.” We deny the need for Sabbath, for the recharge, in order to get a leg up on the housework, to get in the extra hours at work, to get another workout in. Work, work, work. Your need for rest doesn’t make you less than. It makes you human. And I have yet to meet a mother who is not human.

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How to recharge: Know that observing the Sabbath and resting is what is best for you. God commands it. We have to trust that we are good enough even when we are not producing. Sabbath means we lay down the god of efficiency and choose to be present in the moment, just as it is. I’m not very good at any of it, but I think it is a test I will be given until I pass. Now, has anybody seen a charger?

How can you reenergize and find rest in your daily life?

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