Last weekend, my husband and I took our daughter to the zoo. We visited the newly renovated penguin house and then stopped to admire some wiggly-humped camels. An hour later, we searched an enclosure for a couple reclusive wolves. “Be right back,” my husband said, darting off to the restroom. My daughter smiled up at me. “Can I check Pokémon GO on your phone?” I turned to her, incredulous. “We’re at the zoo. No way.” She persisted. “It’ll be real quick.” I shook my head. “Dad won’t be long. Keep looking for a wolf.” I didn’t like her instinct of turning to a screen when she had downtime. Let her be bored, I thought, a little disgruntled.
Turns out, there’s something to boredom. It has positive benefits, especially if kids can tune into it and approach boredom with a good attitude (but do hide the Sharpies and your makeup kit). The next time your kid whines about being bored, don’t feel bad. Here are 5 reasons why boredom is good for your child now and again.
1. Boredom gives him a chance to sort through his emotions.
Staring at a screen pushes emotions to the side. Instead of giving him a distraction, if he says he’s bored, let him figure out what’s truly eating at him. It might be something else like loneliness, sadness, or even the feeling of being overwhelmed and the desire to avoid responsibilities.
Maybe instead of truly being “bored,” he’s feeling sad because his brother has a playdate and he doesn’t. Or perhaps he wants to cuddle up with you, but you have work to finish and he’s feeling lonely. Being able to discuss the primary emotion at hand is important and it’s why boredom is good for your child. iMOM’s printable Feel Wheel will help kids learn to name what they’re feeling. Then you can truly help them sort through it.
2. Boredom gives her time to be creative and to problem-solve.
As a kid, I used to dream up dance routines on my roller skates and perform in my driveway when my dad came home from work. As a tween, I started writing in a diary because I wanted a way to work through some pre-adolescent angst.
When a kid’s bored, she learns how to entertain herself. Things aren’t always going to go the way kids want and being able to occupy themselves is a great coping skill. Planning every hour of a kid’s day doesn’t give her the chance to work through boredom on her own either. She needs opportunities to fight it herself and come up with other things to do.
3. Boredom helps him live in the present and notice what’s going on around him.
I admit to coercing my son on a walk with the promise of playing Pokémon GO on my phone. But then I found myself saying, “Watch out for the puddle!” and “Put the phone down when you cross the street. Didn’t you see that car?”
When he’s not distracted by a screen, he notices more, like the black cat creeping through the bushes or the dollar bill caught in the rain drain. When we live in the moment, we learn to get comfortable with our thoughts too. Sometimes it’s scary to be left only with our inner workings, but part of growing up is learning to face fears and other emotions that are easy to avoid when we’re constantly on the go.
4. Boredom gives her the opportunity to work on social skills.
If my daughter’s bored, she might find a way to convince her brother to play with her. “If you play LEGOs with me, I’ll let you borrow my library book.” If he turns her down, she might go to our neighbor’s house and talk to her. When I was little, I’d head outside and find kids to play with. Impromptu conversations and get-togethers help build social skills.
If we give kids free time to work through their boredom, they may discover new ways to entertain themselves. Kids grow in inner strength and resourcefulness when they’re forced to find a solution to their boredom.
Kids grow in inner strength and resourcefulness when they’re forced to find a solution to their boredom. Click To Tweet5. Boredom gives him the chance for self-discovery.
While on lunch duty, I watched some boys flip a mini water bottle over and over. The trick was to flick your wrist a certain way to make the bottle do a 360 and land straight up. This occupied those kids for several minutes (and me too!) until a teacher shut it down.
A lot of creativity is born from boredom. It’s a chance for kids to learn more about themselves too. What else am I capable of? What am I good at? What will your child discover about himself the next time he’s bored?
Are there other ways in which boredom is good for your child?
