My Kids Saw Porn. Here Are the 3 Things We Did Next.


how to talk to your child about porn

A few months ago, my kids saw porn. We were celebrating a holiday and had a home full of family and friends. A close friend gave our kids a box of old baseball cards without first checking the box. There was a DVD cover at the bottom, filled with sexually explicit pictures. One of the kids snatched up the cover and brought it to us. My husband and I immediately got rid of it and prayed for our kids. It accidentally entered our home, but the damage was done by the time we realized what happened.

It’s not likely that your kids will see pornography on a DVD cover, but with phones or tablets in their hands daily, it is very likely they will see it eventually. We didn’t think it would be this soon. I mean, my kids are 8, 7, and 5. I figured I had time to get some parenting knowledge under my belt. I was wrong. So we took these 3 steps.

1. We talked about it.

My husband and I talked to our kids together and individually. We explained that what they saw was not part of God’s design. All parts of the body are beautiful and special, but we have to teach kids that certain parts are private.

Our kids asked questions and shared their thoughts and feelings. They specifically asked why people would take pictures like that. We explained that some people don’t respect the human body and instead use it to make money. My husband and I talked about how something good (like our bodies) can turn into something bad (like pornography) when used for the wrong reasons or in the wrong ways.

2. We educated ourselves.

Knowing my kids saw porn at such a young age broke my heart. I still remember the first time I encountered it (I was much older than they are) and those images were seared into my mind forever. I hate that for my kids, and my heart breaks that their innocence has been shattered. So I mourned, and then I educated myself on what I should do next.

We researched, purchased a book to read to the kids, and refused to ignore the issue. The book Good Pictures Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson was really helpful to us. We’ve also been using the book series God’s Design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones when teaching our kids about sexuality.

3. We relied on our circle.

I have a small circle of loved ones whose advice and prayers I value. I talked with each of those women. Their life experiences gave them different perspectives, which I needed to hear. They reminded me that no matter how uncomfortable and saddening my kids’ questions may be, I needed to answer them. They also urged me to reinforce that my children did nothing wrong and that they should never feel ashamed for what they saw.

How have you talked to your child about pornography?

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