Why Your Marriage Needs a Supper Club


feeling lonely

In their small, west Texas town, my husband’s brother and sister found a way to have fun—they started a supper club. After hearing how much fun my husband’s siblings and their spouses had at their monthly dinner parties, my husband and I realized we both were feeling lonely. We had become parents, started new jobs, and moved into a short-term rental house. All these life transitions had been taxing on our friendships. We longed for deeper relationships.

We needed a space where we could find and grow friendships. So we started a supper club of our own. Three years ago this month, we invited two other couples to join us to share our lives simply and generously around the table. We have met nearly every month for dinner in one of our homes ever since and our marriages are better for it. Here’s why.

Supper Club is something fun for us to look forward to.

Our supper club consists of 3 young couples who have lots of kids between the ages of 1 and 10. We are all tired—so tired. We’ve sacrificed solitude, stillness, and sleep to be together and we do it over and over again. And we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes it’s a fancy four-course dinner and sometimes it’s taco takeout, but we are here for it all. We need space for light-hearted conversations, laughter, and celebration. Supper club creates it for us. It’s rare that a handful of wives and husbands all enjoy each other’s company, but we hit the jackpot. Pray about the people in your life who enjoy being hospitable, who you would like to get to know better, and see what doors open.

Supper Club has provided our marriage with unparalleled safety.

What happens at supper club stays at supper club. We’ve come to trust that the words, stories, and experiences we bring to the table and share with one another are going to be kept and guarded. We also committed to keeping it on our calendars every single month. This culture of consistency and respect for privacy has created a place for each couple to be vulnerable with the hardships we’re facing and the successes we’re celebrating. And I can’t remember a time that anyone in our supper club has shared a photo from one of our monthly dinners on social media. That feels sacred to me. These nights aren’t held for the sake of what others think. They aren’t designed to make us feel special. They are simply safe places where we all can learn from one another.

Supper Club has allowed us to be students of our friend’s marriages.

I have loved learning from my friend’s marriages. My husband and I respect our friends and we respect their marriages. Supper club provides space for me to study their relationships, see their strengths, and learn to mirror them in my own marriage. My husband and I walked down a long and dark road of back-to-back losses in our 20s. We never quite were able to catch our breath before the next unexpected crisis. We didn’t know that festering wounds from the first decade of our marriage would come back to battle us in our 30s. If it weren’t for our dear friends’ examples, I don’t think we would have had the courage to pursue counseling and healing for some of our deep-rooted disappointments. I am forever grateful for the gift our supper club’s encouragement is to our marriage.

So go—find your people. Find the couples who will cheer on your marriage. I promise they are out there. Just be brave enough to extend an invitation. If you need some help laying the ground rules for what could be one of the greatest gifts in your life, check out this post to help you get your own supper club started.

Whose marriage has inspired you and your husband to take good care of your relationship?

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