Around the time when my husband and I were first married I needed to talk to him about something. Honestly, I don’t even remember what it was about. He was in the living room watching TV so I went in and sat down. He barely even realized I walked into the room. So I asked him a question. He didn’t answer. Slightly annoyed, I asked it louder and he still didn’t answer. His eyes were fixed on the TV. I asked a third time, raising my voice again. No acknowledgment. I stormed out of the room infuriated. Two hours later he came to our room surprised to find me mad at him.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Are there times when you are trying to say something to your husband or need to have an important conversation and your husband doesn’t listen? Our iMOM Specialist Walt Larimore’s wife Barb Larimore has a few secrets when it comes to getting your husband to listen. Here are her 5 ways to get your husband to listen.
What’s my secret for helping Walt listen to me? It’s easy:
1. Make an appointment. At breakfast I may say, “Honey, tonight after dinner can we talk about our vacation plans?”
2. Give him an agenda. I may say, “I want to talk with you about the best time to schedule the repair work on my car.”
3. Let him know there’s a time limit. “Would you be able to take a ten-minute break at halftime to chat?”
4. Let him know whether you want a solution to the topic of your discussion or whether you just want him to listen.
5. Make sure he has to listen to only one audio input at a time (no children talking, TV blaring, or radio playing).
If you want to communicate with your husband, don’t interrupt when he speaks. Many women don’t realize this, but men only interrupt other men when they are being competitive or aggressive.
This can be very difficult for us women because when we’re talking with our friends, we talk at the same time about multiple topics. Doing so stimulates our minds, builds our friendships, and strengthens our relationships. My active participation indicates to the other women that I like and accept them. But this does not work when I’m talking with Walt. With women, I speak with my female language; with Walt, I have had to learn to speak in his language.
Tell us! What are some other ways you use to get your husband to listen?
Walt Larimore, M.D. has been called “one of America’s best known family physicians.” He is a nationally-known and nationally sought after speaker and health expert.