A friend of mine grew up with five older brothers. She has enough stories of their torments and teasing to fill a therapist’s journal. One of the worst was when they spent her entire sixth-grade year calling her “Bangs” after she got a bad haircut.
On the other hand, she still remembers the time they came to her dance recital, gave her flowers, and told her she “danced real good.” That brother-sister bond—even though it looks different from the bond between same-sex siblings—is powerful. So are the words a brother says to his sister. I wonder if brothers know how influential they are. Imagine the impact these 10 things would have on your daughter if she heard them from her brother.
Things That Will Give Her Confidence
Even if your daughter thinks her brother stinks (literally and figuratively), she probably still values his opinion. The brother-sister bond can immediately grow stronger when he chooses words that build her up.
Your daughter is obviously going to encounter a lot of men in her future. Some will want her to feel small. Some will underestimate her abilities. Words like these can help lay a foundation of confidence that will help her hold her head high:
1. “You’re strong.”
2. “That’s a great idea.”
3. “You look pretty.”
4. “You’re cool.”
Things That Will Show Her He Respects Her
One of my favorite movie tropes is the brother who rescues his sister who’s been dumped the night of the dance by putting on his suit and taking her as his date. The way a girl’s father treats her sets the bar for other men, but as her peer, a brother’s words and actions hold significant weight as well.
The way a girl’s father treats her sets the bar for other men, but as her peer, a brother’s words and actions hold significant weight as well. Click To TweetWhen a girl hears from her brother that she is worthy of being treated and spoken to with respect, she’ll come to expect that from others. It also won’t hurt if he threatens to beat up any guy who mistreats her. She might even do a double-take if she hears any of these things:
5. “You deserve a guy who…”
6. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”
7. “I’ll defend you.” These words could be indirect. Your daughter might find out her brother had words with a boy who said something disrespectful about her or confronted someone who’s bullied her.
Things That Will Show Her He Loves Her
That love tank we all have within us needs to be filled somehow. The more our kids can receive love from safe places, the less they’ll look for it in unsafe ones. Your son sees the unfiltered version of his sister and can help her feel loved just for being herself.
The first one on this list might seem obvious, but there are plenty of siblings who don’t say it to each other. What a missed opportunity to build the brother-sister bond and your family’s unity. Tell your son to say these things more often:
8. “I love you.”
9. “I want to play with you.”
10. “I’m glad you’re my sister.”
What else would you add to this list? What would your daughter love to hear from her brother?
