All my son could do was stare at his hands as his dad and I uncovered the mess he’d created. Stacks of undone homework, horrible videos buried in social media, and a bad attitude left us no choice but to bring the hammer down. A single tear fell as he realized his bad choices and lies meant all privileges were gone.
Being a teen is hard. Too young to be seen as an adult, but too old to be called a kid. They have to meet expectations and make big decisions. They have the world to conquer, yet they still depend on Mom and Dad. Life lessons for teens come at them fast and even though we’ve been through it ourselves, it can be hard to show sympathy and remember the struggle to balance homework, friends, jobs, and hormones. So let’s remember these 5 life lessons every teen will learn so we can help them through these challenging years.
1. If you don’t do the work, you face the consequences, not Mom and Dad!
When you’re little, we jump in and help you get things done. As a teen, we stand back, allowing you to do the work, hoping you’ll learn the value of hard work and a job well done. We wait in the wings, watching patiently. However, if the work doesn’t get done, the consequences aren’t mine or your dad’s. They’re yours.
Facing failure when work goes unfinished or is subpar is one of the hard life lessons for teens, but we can’t rescue them from it. My son learned the hard way when he didn’t turn in his English project and almost failed the semester.
2. Lying is bad; getting caught makes it even worse.
Lying is bad. Period. Crafting a story to shift blame or shield underhanded activities is wrong. But when we say there’s less trouble if you tell the truth, we aren’t pulling your leg. The truth always comes to light and the hurt and disappointment we show when we discover you’ve been lying is real. Getting caught doing wrong is as inevitable as a history test, so tell the truth and show that you’ve got character.
My teen is learning that broken trust is difficult to regain after a summer of lies. Telling the truth upfront is the best policy and prevents making a bad situation worse.
3. You cannot have million-dollar dreams with a two-dollar work ethic.
The world of YouTube superstars and Instagram influencers making big bucks has planted in you the desire for a million-dollar lifestyle. What you don’t see are the hours of planning, strategizing, recording, and editing before anything is released. Athletes, artists, and musicians spend hours learning techniques and perfecting skills. Natural talent plays a part, but dedication and timing play an even bigger role.
Hopefully, my son will learn that shooting hoops 15 minutes a day then quitting because he’s tired won’t lead to high-paid success. It takes a strong work ethic and drive to achieve big dreams.
4. Not everyone should be your friend.
A difficult life lesson for teens is understanding that while you can be friends with everyone, you shouldn’t necessarily be friends with everyone. The people in your life should look out for you, encourage you, and help you grow, and you should do the same for them. If you’re too focused on popularity, you’ll inevitably befriend someone who won’t be good for you. So be friendly with everyone, but cautious about those you allow close.
My son overheard a “friend” destroying his character in the school hallway. He was crushed. He learned that some people you consider to be friends can spread rumors or use you. At a time when the number of followers you have feels paramount, we need to remind our teens that in friendship, it’s quality over quantity.
At a time when the number of followers you have feels paramount, we need to remind our teens that in friendship, it's quality over quantity. Click To Tweet5. You can always come home!
The world is a scary place and you’re going to make mistakes. Those mistakes will teach you lessons, and you can come to us to help you. Your dad and I are your biggest cheerleaders. We want to see you take on the world and fulfill your amazing potential. But we’ve done time in the real world and we know that some stumbles are harder to get up from. Asking for help is a good thing.
Each of my children knows home is a safe place to land, whether it’s after a tough day at school or a bad decision that they have to confess. Our teens should know we’d rather see them come home so we can help guide them than watch them flounder and drown.
What life lessons for teens did you or your child learn the hard way?
