“Do you remember what time we agreed to meet up?”
“Nope. But I can check.”
Some iteration of that conversation between my ex-husband and me has happened via text more times than I can remember, and every time, one of us has to scroll, scroll, scroll back weeks or even months to find the answer in writing.
Keeping track of kids’ lives is a master skill in one home; doing it across two is next-level logistics. And when there’s a disagreement or discrepancy, it can easily turn into a fight that adds stress to an already stressful situation. If the juggle is a struggle for you, a co-parenting app could be a lifesaver for these 5 reasons.
1. To Communicate Clearly About Time-Sharing
Sure, your legal agreement spells out who has the kids on what days and hours, but if your life is like mine, there are relatives’ birthday parties or other special events that require tweaking the schedule. Some apps, like Custody Connection, allow parents to make trade requests. It also records if the request is granted or denied and automatically updates calendars.
2. To Keep the Peace
Texting is definitely not the best way to communicate with someone with whom you already have a contentious relationship. But it’s often the easiest. Some apps, like OurFamilyWizard, provide a messaging service that checks your tone for negative words and offers alternatives that are less likely to start a fight. This co-parenting app also logs communication, giving you easy access to records for use in court proceedings.
3. To Document Child Support and Finances
Even in the most amicable situations, talk of money can get dicey. Who paid for shoes last? What about school pictures? You owe me for that week of school lunch I had to cover when you were out of town. A co-parenting app like Talking Parents can help you keep track of all your shared expenses. You can also request and send money securely.
4. To Update Details About the Kids
My kids’ feet grow faster than the weeds in my flower beds. On more than one occasion, I’ve bought shoes for them only to have to drive back to the store the next weekend to make an exchange. My ex-husband and I will text each other current shoe sizes before we buy, but it would be easier just to keep all that info in one place. Most co-parenting apps, like 2houses, provide an information bank where you can store clothing sizes, names and phone numbers of friends’ parents, and medical information.
5. To Share Memories
This can be an emotionally tricky one, for sure. Some apps, like WeParent, offer photo sharing. If seeing your kids having fun and making memories without you is too hard, this might not be a feature you’re looking for. I love seeing my kids enjoying life, and if it’s when they’re with their dad, then I’m happy to get a glimpse. You could set some ground rules for what photos get posted, like shots of kids only, no parents.
There are a lot of options and you might feel a little overwhelmed. Right now, for my family, a shared Google calendar works. It’s free, but it definitely doesn’t have the capabilities these apps do. If I did decide to go the route of an app, My Family Wizard would likely be my choice. A divorced couple created it, and the basic version is free. You might need to invest a few dollars for the upgrade, but if it means you’re a more peaceful mom for your kids, I think it’s worth the cost.
What would be the biggest benefit of a co-parenting app for you?
