“I will take that phone away, and you won’t see it for six months.” This was my friend Sarah’s promise to her daughter, who’d just shown her a video of girls fighting in the halls of her middle school. “But mom! I didn’t take the video. Someone sent it to me!” Sarah didn’t care. She said, “Tell your friends you don’t want to see that stuff and not to text it to you.”
Texting and sending a snap on Snapchat are quick and easy ways to communicate, but they require responsibility and forethought that you and I didn’t have to deal with as teens. Three-way calling was complicated enough for me! If you mention texting safety tips for teens, you might get an eye roll, but make sure your kid never puts these 5 things in a text or snap.
1. Nude Photos of Him or Herself
No mom wants to imagine her daughter or son sexting or sharing nudes. This is definitely a head-in-sand kind of topic and super uncomfortable. But it’s too crucial for you to ignore. According to a 2020 Cybersurvey by InternetMatters.org around one in six teens age 15 and older have sent nude images of themselves to someone else.
You know all the risks, but don’t assume your teens do. Those pictures can be shared with anyone. They can be printed and slipped in lockers. They can resurface years later. Sadly, none of these potential consequences feel as real as the payoffs of sending nudes: feeling attractive, getting attention, rebelling. Validate your teens’ feelings, but be clear about the risks.
2. Nude Photos of Others
Many adults don’t even know this law, so it’s safe to assume your teen doesn’t either. Sending or receiving sexually explicit images of minors via text or snap is considered child pornography and can result in criminal charges, even if both the sender and recipient are minors and the exchange was consensual. In some states, it’s considered a felony. Here are the sexting laws for your state.
3. Gossip, Trash Talking, or Inappropriate Behavior
If it shouldn’t come out of your mouth, it shouldn’t be sent via text. Teens are so desperate to find connection that it’s tempting to send juicy gossip or a comment that makes them feel edgy, cool, or superior to the person being talked about. Help your teens exercise good character with their phones. Teach them to ask themselves, “Is what I’m texting true, good, helpful, or affirming? Is it the opposite of those?”
As my friend did, help your teens see their phones as tools for spreading good, not negativity. Tell them to immediately delete videos of fights or other destructive behaviors and to tell their friends they aren’t interested in getting that kind of stuff in a text or snap.
Help your teens see their phones as tools for spreading good, not negativity. Click To Tweet4. Words That Bully
When a member of my women’s group asked for prayer for a coworker whose daughter died by suicide, we all felt that mother’s pain. The girl was being bullied via text. The distance we feel when we communicate via snap, text, or comment boxes brings out the ugly side of people. Things we’d never say to someone’s face get slung around and do irreparable damage. Remind your teens that they never know what a person is going through and to use texts and snaps to encourage and not destroy.
Use iMOM’s printable Cell Phone Contract to launch the discussion about all of these topics and texting safety tips for teens.
5. Overly Personal Information
Our teens can easily be tempted to overshare via text or Snap. It’s like writing in a journal or diary, and teens don’t always consider if the recipients are safe keepers of their personal stories before they hit send. It’s probably not fair to assume your teens will never share something too personal, but remind them to be discerning. How well do they know the people they’re texting? If this secret or story gets out, what could happen?
Texting is a great place to put red, yellow, and green light friend rules into place. Closer, safer friends get access to the things you hold dear. Red light friends only get the surface level stuff.
What are some other texting safety tips for teens?
