“Pick up your toys. Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t pull hair. Ugh,” my friend continued. “Weeknights with my kids are no fun!” As a working mom with a two-year-old and a five-year-old, she said she misses her kids all day while they’re at daycare and preschool, but when they come home, their evenings together are a struggle. “It’s hard when they come home, and you spend the rest of the evening fighting them to do stuff!” This goes for parenting kids of all ages but seems particularly wearisome in the early days when kids are learning basic rules. Sometimes, it seems that every other minute includes a reminder of how to do things.
My friend continued: “It’s part of parenting—I get that. But I don’t enjoy it.” Of course, she’s right. You’d much rather cuddle up on the couch with your kiddos or listen to them play nicely. The last thing you want is to feel like a big meanie after a long day apart. But the weeknight struggles, as my friend calls them, are still meaningful and an important part of parenting. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment, you’re parenting with love. Here are 5 other ways you show love for your children even when it’s no fun.
1. You’re teaching good character traits.
Knowing how to behave in public and having good manners are essential! You want your kids to fit in socially, so you teach skills that will shape who they are and how others see them. So you start young. “Chew with your mouth closed,” you say at dinner. “And don’t interrupt.” Afterward, you say, “Scrape your plate into the trash.” You’re trying to teach obedience, respect, and good manners all while enjoying a meal with your family! No one wants to be on patrol in the evenings, but because you love them, you do it anyway. In time, this part of parenting will get easier.
2. You’re teaching social skills.
“Gentle hands,” you tell your little one. When you’re correcting a kid’s behavior, you’re working on social skills that become very important very fast in school. If my daughter reaches for the toy in my hand while saying, “Gimme,” I might say, “Ask nicely,” to work on her attitude. Repetition can be tough, night after night with the same lessons. But these messages will sink in, so keep trying!
3. You’re teaching a healthy lifestyle.
“Open wide. Try two bites.” What mom hasn’t resorted to chicken fingers because she just doesn’t have the strength to battle her kids tonight? Introducing kids to new foods might be one of the hardest things to do in the evenings! But you’re showing your love by keeping at it, all the way to bedtime: “Let’s brush every tooth really well!” And you keep it up day in and day out before meals and after bathroom breaks: “Let’s sing the alphabet while we wash hands!” Healthy habits start young and even though these can be battles, you’re fighting the good fight because you love your kids.
Healthy habits start young and even though these can be battles, you’re fighting the good fight because you love your kids. Click To Tweet4. You’re teaching accountability.
Has anyone else pretended to look the other way when their kid grabbed a toy out of another child’s hand? Um, yeah. Disciplining all day or all evening is tiring and sometimes it’s just too tempting to take a pass and tell yourself it’s a one-off. But if you do, get back on it next time. When you don’t let your children get away with grabby behavior or forget to say “thank you,” you’re really looking out for their future selves. You’re protecting them from what could come later (future playdates, classroom expectations, bullies) by lovingly reminding them that that sort of behavior is unacceptable.
5. You’re teaching family expectations.
When you say, “In our family, we don’t call names” or “In our family, we don’t watch TV on weeknights,” you’re teaching your child that your family might not have the same rules as the rest of the world, but they’re important to follow anyway. You’re setting the bar high by not going along with the crowd. As my friend would say, you’re “fighting them” over these rules, and “it’s no fun,” but you’re showing love for your children as you make it through night after night.
Fit in some snuggle time at the end of the night. Read a story. Say prayers together and give kisses. Even if these last 10 minutes of the day are the only “fun” part, savor it. And know that all your hard work earlier is because you love them.
What other ways do you show love for your children on a stressful evening?
