We’re a sports family. If my kids aren’t playing it, they’re watching it. My husband and our three boys are always trying to keep up with the big name players and coaches and cheer on their favorite teams. But one of the unsettling trends that we’ve begun to notice is that the TV networks just “happen” to regularly air muted playbacks of coaches’ and players’ responses that include clearly identifiable profanities—words that, if not muted, wouldn’t be allowed on primetime television.
And it’s not just in sports. It is a rare occasion when you can watch a movie or listen to a song on the radio without a cuss word. It’s become the norm in our culture, but thankfully, it doesn’t have to become the norm in our homes. But what happens if your child starts cussing? Don’t freak out and grab the bar of soap. There’s a better approach and it comes in 3 practical steps.
1. Recognize the influences.
Don’t overreact! Take some time to evaluate where this new and colorful language may have come from. This past fall, when our youngest son was playing junior league football, there was a kid on his team who was constantly cussing during practices and games. When my husband confronted the coach, he introduced himself as “Shane’s dad,” to which the coach said, “Oh man, Shane’s one of the best $%@? players we’ve got on our team.” When my husband brought up the issue of the player who was cussing, he responded, “Sorry, that’s my son. I’ll have a talk with him.”
Every child is, to an extent, the product of his own environment, and sometimes, the environment includes bad language. Whether children are being influenced by what they hear at home, school, around the neighborhood, or in the media, they are being influenced. And it is our responsibility as parents to first recognize these influences and then take responsibility for them. Once we have done that, we need to…
2. Set some boundaries.
If you have noticed that your kiddo’s new friend is allowed to watch shows that have characters who use bad language, you might have to set a boundary that he can’t go to this friend’s house. If your daughter’s favorite YouTube star is dropping four-letter words, it’s time to set limits on what she’s allowed to watch. Children naturally do not like boundaries, although they definitely need them. Your child will not always understand why he can’t watch that show or go to that friend’s house, but that’s OK. Ultimately, your number one goal needs to be to…
3. Guard his heart.
Your child’s heart is like a deep well, and what’s in the well is going to come up in the bucket. Your child’s heart is one of his most valuable possessions in life because it’s the direction of his heart that will determine the direction of his future. As a parent, you are the first protective filter to your child’s heart. Don’t settle for allowing in anything less than the goodness your child deserves.
Your child’s heart is like a deep well, and what’s in the well is going to come up in the bucket. Your child’s heart is like a deep well, and what’s in the well is going to come up in the bucket. Click To Tweet
Remember, the first time your child cusses, don’t freak out. Children often cuss for the first time unintentionally or to test the waters. Instead, stop, think, and intentionally use it as a teachable moment to discuss where it came from and the reasons why it is not acceptable behavior in your family. Make your expectations clear as you move forward. And reassure them of your love and commitment to help guard their hearts. They may not thank you for it now, but they will someday.
In what ways could you better guard your child’s heart (whether he’s started cussing or not)?
