Child Discipline

21 Creative Consequences

Disciplining our children well takes wisdom, consistency, and empathy. {Tweet This} It also helps to have a ready sense of humor, a whole lot of love, and a good supply of patience. Then, on top of all that, there are times you need to mix in a little creativity – creative consequences.

So look over these creative and sometimes unusual discipline ideas. A few might seem a little out there, but let them inspire you to come up with alternatives of your own.

Here are 21 Creative Consequences:

These creative consequences were created by author Lisa Whelchel. As you’re considering your discipline approach, use our Consequence Calculator to help you choose the right consequence for your child.

  1. If time-outs don’t work, try a “time-in.” This can be accomplished by sending your child to a designated spot where he must complete a task that has a definite beginning and end. This could be putting together a small puzzle, stringing 50 beads on a piece of yarn, or tracing the alphabet. A time-in diverts his energies and encourages him to focus on something positive.
  2. Timers set definite boundaries. For example, with a timer, you can say, “I’m setting the timer. I want your room cleaned (or your shoes on, or the dishes unloaded) in 15 minutes. If you haven’t finished by then, your correction is….” This method not only spurs on easily distracted children, but it also leaves little room for arguing about a job that isn’t finished and whether the correction is warranted.
  3. Make a homemade “Correction” can and fill it with tickets or slips of paper with various consequences written on them. Instead of giving your child a time-out, send her to the can for a slip. A few ideas might include no TV or computer for a night, early bedtime, or an extra chore. Toss in a blank piece of paper, a “mercy” ticket. This gives you an opportunity to talk about how God gives us mercy even when we deserve punishment. (These ideas from our Clutter Jail printable and Little Clutter Jail printable can work for a “Correction” can too.)
  4. If you repeatedly open the door to your child’s room only to catch him in an act of disobedience, take your child’s bedroom door off the hinges. It sounds harder to do than it actually is. And it works wonders!
  5. Adjust bedtimes according to your children’s behavior that day. For each infraction, they must go to bed five minutes earlier, but if they’ve been good, they can earn the right to stay up an extra five minutes.
  6. An especially tough but effective correction for teenagers who forget to wear their seat belts is to add an additional day past their sixteenth birthday before they can take their driver’s test. Hey, it’s important! (Use this Teen Driving Contract to help your children understand your expectations.)
  7. If you have dawdlers, try this: Whoever is last to the table at dinnertime becomes the server. But there’s a catch. Even if you’re first, your hands must be clean, or you’ll end up serving the food, pouring the drinks, and fetching the condiments (after washing your hands, of course!).
  8. If your children are constantly turning in sloppy schoolwork, get a few photocopied pages of printing or cursive exercises. (These can be found at any teachers supply store.) Then ask your haphazard child this: “What takes longer: a report done neatly in 15 minutes or one you’ve sped through in 10 that must be redone and warrants a page of handwriting practice?”
  9. You’ve heard the reprimand “Hold your tongue!” Make your child do it-literally. Have her stick out her tongue and hold it between two fingers. This is an especially effective correction for public outbursts.
  10. My friend, Becki, tried a variation on this idea in the car. If things got too raucous or there was too much fussing between siblings, she would cry, “Noses on knees!” Her children then had to immediately touch their noses to their knees until she determined that they had learned their lesson.
  11. Next time your child “forgets” to put something away, like video games or sports equipment, put it away for him. When he asks where it is, tell him that he’ll just have to look for it. Believe me, he will learn that it’s a lot more trouble to find something that Mom has hidden than it is to put it away in the first place.
  12. If you have younger children who are messy, try this: Put their toys in a “rainy day” box to bring out later. This has the added benefit of making an old toy seem new again. Or set the toy somewhere out of reach but within sight for a predetermined number of days. This increases the impact of the correction by keeping the forbidden toy fresh in their minds. Or put it in jail–your child has to do a chore to get it out. Little Clutter Jail printable
  13. I heard from a mom who had tired of her three sons’ ceaseless noises and sound effects—so she got creative. If her boys did not take their commotion outside, she would make them sit down and listen to the “Barney” theme song cassette for 10 minutes. For adolescent boys, it’s torture!
  14. If your little one gets too hyper, come up with a code word to remind him to stop the action without embarrassing him. Whenever Tucker started getting too rowdy in a group, I would yell, “Hey, Batman.” He knew that he needed to calm down before I had to take more drastic measures.
  15. Does your child slam the door when she’s angry? You might tell her, “It’s obvious that you don’t know how to close a door properly. To learn, you will open and close this door, calmly and completely, 100 times.”
  16. If your child likes to stomp off to his room or stomp around in anger, send him outside to the driveway and tell him to stomp his feet for one minute. He’ll be ready to quit after about 15 seconds, but make him stomp even harder.
  17. The same goes for throwing fits. Tell your child to go to her room to continue her fit. She isn’t allowed to come out and she has to keep crying for 10 minutes. Ten minutes is an awfully long time, and it’s no fun if your parents tell you to cry.
  18. Another way to handle temper tantrums is to simply say, “That is too disruptive for this house. You may continue your fit in the backyard. When you’re finished, you are welcome to come back inside.” When there isn’t an audience, the thrill of throwing a temper tantrum is gone.
  19. If a job is not done diligently, have your child practice doing it. She’ll learn to be more thorough if she’s made to sweep the floor three or four times because her first effort wasn’t good enough.
  20. When one of my children is acting disrespectful, disobedient, or defiant, I will instruct him or her to choose a chore from the Job jar. The jobs include scrubbing the toilet, organizing the pots and pans, moving and vacuuming underneath the furniture, weeding the garden, matching up odd socks, defrosting the refrigerator, and cleaning the closet, garage, or under the bed. And those are just a few possibilities. You could add ironing, vacuuming the refrigerator coils, scrubbing the inside of small wastebaskets, polishing the silver, cleaning the window wells, brushing the animals, cleaning the fireplace, shaking the kitchen rugs, vacuuming the couch, alphabetizing the spices, and using wood cleaner on the dining room chairs. Not only does the Job jar help to get my house clean, but it also keeps my little ones from complaining that they’re bored. They know that with the Job jar, Mom will always have an antidote for boredom.
  21. I have a friend whose son’s morning chore was to get the pooper-scooper and clean up the doggie gifts littering the backyard. The boy was not doing this job with much diligence, so his father came up with this creative solution: After the boy had completed the task, he would be required to run through the yard barefoot! From then on, their lawn was perfectly clean.

Taken from Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel.

At iMOM we know that correcting out children is tough.  We are always trying to find new ways to help moms train up their child well.  Here are a few other resources we have come up with that might help:

Obeyball Game Printable–a game where kids are rewarded for first-time obedience.

5 Discipline Options–if you are new to disciplining here are 5 options.

Consequence Calculator–a great printable to use with the child that needs a lot of correction over and over.

Discipline and Structure for the ADD Child–good advice for all moms not just those with ADD!

Need more resources? We have them. Just type “discipline” in our search bar. Discipline is a big topic for moms and we have lots of resources. You may too–share in our comments section below!

Let’s Talk: What’s your most creative consequence?

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  • Ali

    Be careful with number 8. Make sure your child does not have a motor deficit first. Sloppy handwriting is often a sign of this.

    • Gazzer

      I have that and when I was younger I had a teacher who was convinced it was because I was lazy.

  • pbaldwin

    Some good ideas, although I wouldn’t do the door one as that sort of thing would just wind up my son as he has Asbergers.

  • MelissaJ

    I like #7 for the dawdlers! I could sit through more of dinner!

  • Marie

    When my daughter was 9, a normal consequence was having to wear a dress or skirt to school. Doesn’t sound like a big deal??? for my jeans and tee shirt and converse girl it was punishment enough to only have to do it once!

  • Gwen

    A lot of these seem harsh. 21 could cause disease and is unusual. A lot of these seem like consequences that will happen if it’s not up to mom standards, not that their being destructive, or misbehaving. Now something like 1 or 14, that feels like a mom and child working towards a goal together without humiliation. To me a lot of these are making a moms life easier, but a child’s life harder. A lot of the consequences don’t seem to fit the actual wrong. I’ve been studying child psychology for a while on my own, but have taken classes within child development and know that a lot of these would be considered highly unacceptable. I can see some being creative, but a lot being cruel and unusual.

    • kelly

      I agree to some extent with what you’re saying, but I think this is a bit of a modifiable template for your child, and needs to suit the age of the child. I disagree with any of the degrading or demeaning chores because the hope is to encourage a child to be happy and resourceful rather than anxious and fearful. I really think that this “concept” could work if only it was more positively structured around benefiting the child rather than the parent.

      • zeke199

        You & Gwen might have missed the point – The key is to develop, instill, and increase ownership in a child, yes in a loving way. None of these items are humiliating but rather teaching children to do things to appropriate completion & be considerate of others. #21 is a great idea to ensure a child learns increased observation & task completion skills. What’s the worst that could happen – he/she missed some poop & must wash their feet??? Bet that won’t happen again!

        By the way, most child psych books & classes are designed to create tyranical, narcissistic kids who grow up to be the next batch of self-absorbed, self-pious adults. Follow God’s design instead & you’ll see how appropriate discipline is one of the kindest means of love parents can give to their children.

        • Ellen


    • happymaman

      First, a good washing of the feet after will avoid disease. We are way too germaphobic as a society. A few germs are good for you. Second, most of these will require the parent to stay on top of it and enforce the consequence. It will take effort (as good parenting does). Not every consequence will work for every child and every parent should be aware or their child’s special needs if that applies. I would think these would be done after establishing that there are no mental or physical disabilities first. We took our teen daughter’s door off after she repetedly slammed it and it worked wonders. Set a clear, known consequence and stick with it. That will help children become respectful, respectable contributing members of society.

    • annoyed with stupid people

      I think you are stupid and have no idea how to raise children. If you had any sense you would realize that you are not raising children but young adults and that what you train your two year old to be will be what they are at forty so if you are stupid enough to think that you should not train your child to be an adult you will be making your child become very insecure in life. When you call training cruel and unusual you are saying that your child is less intelligent than a dog. It seems strange that people will train their dogs and let their children run around like savages. Get a life and please don’t ever have any children no one would be able to stand them.

    • Sarah


    • kris

      people who think like you are what’s wrong with society.

      • Ellen

        I think it’s the opposite, people like YOU are part of whats wrong with society. . Children need guidance and discipline is a positive way to see that they know that everything we all do has a consequence, some good and some bad!

  • Puma

    I think all of these ideas are brilliant. Thank you for sharing this list with a mother of a 17 year-old, 15 year-old and nine year-old girls. I don’t believe that any of these chores make life easy on the mother. On the contrary, all of these suggestions make life easier on the family unit. I was 12 years a slave, or rather 12 years a stay-at-home mom. What I learned most once I began working full-time is this, I literally raised my children to be dependent on someone else for clean laundry, a clean home, groceries; rides to school, practices, games, recitals, doctor’s appointments and best friend’s homes. Not to mention keeping a calendar of events for each family member. While young children are not expected to drive themselves to school or other commitments, I found that my teens were not interested in learning to drive or took initiative to keep tidy rooms or inquired as to how to cook etc… My point is this, do not raise your child to be inept. Always encourage, foster and lead your child by example and with love. When this fails, use the “21 Creative Consequences for Kids” list without hesitation and quilt-free. May the force be with you new parents.

  • aUSMCmom

    Some of the comments are exactly why we have such an issue with children and teen behavior in our society which then turns into juvenile detention being full, and jails as well as lazy people that have no work ethic. Gees what a nightmare.

    • aharris10877


  • Stacy

    I don’t agree with the previous comment about the chores being degrading for the kids to do…. Chores are responsibilities that everyone shoud learn to do, cleaning toilets is work for anybody and I certainly don’t have a problem with my children cleaning a toilet every now and then. Learning to do meaningful work can help erase this epidemic of entitlement that is running rampant with our children in this country. We coddle our kids way too much here.

  • Rachel

    I have started using the tongue idea on my very rowdy son who often makes what I have now termed “nuisance noises” usually during times of extreme inappropriateness and hyperactivity. It has worked wonders.He maybe has done it 3 times today compared to fifty, this has helped Mom cool off with her grouchy-ness because my child is not driving me insane making annoying noises spratically through out the day.As a mother of three it can get loud in my home. I can also use that moment of silence to explain and further remind him we only use our tongue for REAL communication. DEF. looking into buying her book. As for people saying these IDEAS are too HARSH, or CRUEL. It is a parents duty to LOVINGLY DISCIPLE your children and to teach them responsibility. I don’t enjoy cleaning up after everyone NOR is it just one persons responsibility. I also don’t enjoy not having control of my children and getting embarrassed in public. I really don’t feel these suggestions are things that are going to be LONG term either, as I can already see in my child after having to hold his tongue for two minutes after he makes “nuisance noises”, hes become a little more conscious to his decisions.

    • Mike Kelley


  • BoyMom07

    Very creative. None involve hitting or yelling on the part of the parent. I love number 3. All need to experience some mercy from time to time.

  • Rebecca Michelle Weir-Tucker

    I can’t even begin to tell ALL OF YOU
    Be very cautious with these “consequences”…..consequences they are not. Punishments they VERY MUCH ARE…..I have NO PROBLEM with my girls being themselves…..if they are lacking respect for anyone, we MUST un cover the heart of the matter…our job isn’t to “rid our kids of *bad attitudes, or *improper diligence”….our job is to REACH THEIR HEARTS……Make the last one to the table “serve” everyone?…..serving should NEVER be a PUNISHMENT! SERVING IS OUR GOAL! Why are these things only targeted at the kid you see as having a harder time? That’s probably the kid who needs you to forget your petty list of arbitrary rules and EMBRACE THEM! Forget the “schedule” and outward issues and CONNECT! NEVER EVER EVER SHAME THEM!
    “This is most ‘effective in public…..if they’re annoying you” YOU MATTER, SHAME THEM. LET THEM KNOW THEY’LL REGRET THAT HUMMING {O.M.G. AN OBNOXIOUS NOISE? } you better nip that in the bud!!!……don’t factor in to whether it matters to GOD….IF IT BOTHERS you….YOU ARE ABOVE ONLY AND NOT UNDERNEATH…EMBARASS HIM! YEAH HE’LL stop! YOU’RE ANNOYING HIM!…
    The tone of this entire piece was {US VS. THEM} That’s the opposite way to grow a relationship with the priceless individuals you love….love,joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness , gentleness & SELF CONTROL( THAT MEANS YOU!….BE WHO YOU DESIRE them to be…..let go of your perfection and let them be kids. They help with all common area chores…..but NOT MOTIVATED LIKE THIS! USE THE GOLDEN RULE!

    • tots

      Good point Rebecca. We need to honour serving rather than subject it as a punishment…I totally believe in the philosophy of letting them be who they are…accept them embrace them. Teach them rather than punish them. And most of all if it’s a job well done as a parent you never will have behavioural issues with your children …
      Every Child is different and punishments wi
      H some dont work…It can be disrespectful and hurtful I feel. My three year old for example doesn’t need punishments but explaining…and it’s the only thing that works!

      • S.F.

        Generally, punishment is used FOR teaching them, not in place of. I have a hard time believing that you explain something to your three-year-old and never experience repetitions of the misdeed. Even if so, at some point you will probably discover that usually children learn to follow rules because they know that if they don’t, a “bad thing” will happen.

        I do, however, agree that serving others should not be used as discipline. Actually, when I was growing up, the rule in our family of two adults, eight children, was that once a meal was declared ready, we had five minutes to be washed up and up to the table. That was more than enough time for our whole family, even though we only had one bathroom and in the summer were frequently playing in the back yard when the dinner whistle was blown. The consequence, rather than serving, was not getting to eat that meal. That may seem cruel, but only a couple times after the rule was in place, did a kid ever have to miss a meal. And the rule worked for years, even though the youngest has probably never actually seen the consequence enforced. By the way, to help the younger kids, Dad and Mom said that once they got to the bathroom, they got full use of the sink until they were done, since their abilities were lower than us older kids. Without any input from our parents, us older kids quickly learned that if we helped the little ones, it reduced the time significantly. That encouraged good sibling relations. And as I said, five minutes was more than enough. I think the normal completion rate was about three minutes for everybody to be seated and ready for the prayer.

        Another family I know did not set the table with drinks. The first person to get a glass of water had to pour and serve glasses of water for the rest of the family. This worked great for them, because it taught them to not think only of themselves, but it was not a punishment either. They only needed to serve drinks if they wanted a drink their self. If they weren’t thirsty, they didn’t have to serve everyone else due to some misdeed of theirs. If they were thirsty, but didn’t want to serve, they had to suffer through the meal until some other family member decided it was worth it.

        I like both of those rules. I very much dislike the one about the last person to the table serving everyone else.

    • Ellen

      Some consequences ARE punishments…………………….. you rob a bank you go to jail! That’s a choice made, a consequence of that choice, and a punishment as the resulting consequence of their choice!!!!! If you talk disrespectful to ANYONE there is a consequence that they probably are not going to like. If you talk disrespectful to your boss you get fired!!!!!!! If you break a window, you pay for it in some way (consequence depending on age of child).
      Teaching them that for every action, there is a reaction of some kind. Doing this when they are very young and the choices they make have simple consequences results in them having life skills that will enable them to make good decisions throughout the different stages of their lives………….
      Our jobs as parents is to prepare our children to know the difference between right and wrong, good and not so good, helping them realize they must be responsible for their own actions and that they must be considerate of others.
      It’s not our job to see that our children are happy, it is our job to teach them how they can have a happy life by the choices they make.
      Whats the matter with having to serve dinner to everyone at the table……………………..I do it daily and never view it as a punishment but a privilege and I also did this as a child to help my Mother!
      I really think you are missing the point of this whole conversation. In my opinion, the tone of this entire piece effectively teaches our children too look ahead when making choices that might just change their future in a positive way or a negative way by having a little insight into the consequences of their actions.
      You mentioned God in your comment, have you read Proverbs 22: (6); Proverbs 6: (20-23)?
      Why don’t you read the comments from others like Rachel’s again and see if you can see things in a totally positive light by teaching them some of life’s lessons that will enable to have a well balanced life!

    • Linda

      Boy…you are living in a fantasy land if you’re letting your children ‘ be children’ and don’t see any value in these types of discipline ! When they get older they will run your household and intimidate you..maybe even become abusive toward you as well as others. There MUST be rules & obedience to them.. with consequences if ignored. If you continue on the way you’re headed, in time you
      WILL regret it. The idea of parenting is being a ‘guide’ to the best life possible…the worst thing you can do is allow the child grow up thinking you’re their best friend and there are no rules to live by. You can be their best friend but always be the parent figure…someone has to be ‘the boss’ and that better be you or you’re children are headed for big trouble throughout their life…and it’s YOUR fault !

  • instant daddy

    I have four children. I’m neutral I my opinion on how parents discipline or correct their children’s behavior. People are different, kids are different. There might be some kids that are similar, but we all have our own brains, likes, and dislikes. not every kid will learn the same way or take a situation the same as other kids will. They all have their own perception of things. As parents we can help shape their opinion. I use different methods on all of my kids, because they are different. Whatever the correction that I give them may be always comes along with more than an earful. I explain to them what they did wrong and how to correct it and why they have to correct it. Over and over again. Every time they make a mistake. One main problem with my children is they “forget” alot of things that us parents say. So it’s up to me to make an eternal imprint on their brain by repetition. There is no punishment in this house by “labor”. Call it what you may, but the way you project these lessons will determine how your child perceives life. I teach them that these “chores” aren’t chores if this the way you want to live life. A job doesn’t seem like a job when you love it. A chore isn’t a core when you learn how to do it efficiently and it becomes second nature. I teach my kids cause and effect. Action and reaction. When I was a child I was punished too much with no explanation. This is the motive behind my “jabber jaws”.

  • happymaman

    Most of these are reasonable, related consequences. I prefer a clam down space/time rather than telling them to keep crying or make them stomp though. Mostly, they encourage a respect for shared space, allow children to be themselves in a safe appropriate manner while being cognisent of other’s rights and needs. A noisey child isn’t told to be quiet, but to be noisey outside. That may be modified here as it gets too cold for outdoor play at times (-30 and colder). I believe that if you let the child know of the consequences and the reason behind it (and you know there are no other factors such as special needs or extreme stress), they will follow through as long as you do!

  • YourMom

    Or you forgot the one where you beat the hell out of them so they actually learn a listen.

  • KAtherine

    so this is the site MY mom goes on…………… no wonder………… u guys r sooooo mean i wuz holding MY toung 4 40 minutes…… just 4 saying shoot

  • Vin

    For number 3. You can even add a rewards jar or can. At the end of the day, if a child hasn’t acted out or done something that needs some recognition, have them draw something from the jar. It can include having a treat like ice cream? A trip to the movies, or staying up extra late.

  • Holiday

    This is all wrong. To take such joy from controlling, punishing and humiliating your chidren is really horrible. The aggression under it is so thinly veiled. Why don’t you talk to them, and listen? My children are lovely and we don’t do any of this. It’s just not necessary. I want them to grow up to do the right thing because they make good decisions, not because the have a fear of arbitrary punishments. The problem with all these rigid rules/consequence regimes is they allow you to stop thinking, stop listening, and stop considering how your child is and why they are behaving a certain way. Trust yourself to engage with your kids and drop all this. You’ll all be happier.

  • Candy

    Good advice and excellent article. If I may add. We have taken to giving our kids wall squats. 30 Seconds to a minute. Its when you sit in a sitting position against a wall (without chair or sitting aid) with arms up in front of your body. This also improves muscle tone and builds up core muscles. Two birds, one stone.

  • Tanya Marker

    19 is a bit sexist. She’ll, her how about they will sweep the floor. I’m a mom and I don’t have boy or girl chores I just have chores.

  • mel

    great ideas!!! I can’t wait to start

  • priscilla

    Whoever thought of these consequences needs to realize that humiliation is not the key to discipline. Its disciplining with love! This show a lack of self control in a parent who should be the example of self control. What will this accomplish? You will raise children who will hate you when they get older. Love is kind not humiliating!

  • priscilla

    I feel bad for your child

  • alimad

    umm Well I think Alot of you are crazy I got a belt on my butt a belt works i had to barn tobacco with my older brother if we got in a fight my daddy would of tore our butts up we had to help clean the house and clean are rooms i helped my mom and my brother help my dad with the cars and animals i washed dishes

  • Bridgett P

    My 9 year old stole a 100 dollar bill and gave it to another student THANKFULLY the parent gave it back BUT now im trying to think of some fun creative way (like a prank) to get back at him and then serve him with a certificate of Congratulations you are Grounded. BUT what are some creative ways to get back at him and what punishments could he do? He doesnt act like a 9 year old more like 20 but this is the third time last school year he stole over 300 dollars in 2 days for ice cream. PLEASE HELP… I do not want my 3 younger children following. a hundred dollars is alot and the mother said he was buying toys from her son. ODD buuuut i need some help I get him at 230

    • Kay

      Fun creative way to get back at him? Certificate of Congratulations You Are Grounded? Stealing hundreds of dollars? You and your son need to get some professional help. I’m not trying to be mean. It sounds like there are some serious issues here. Please ask his school, or somewhere else, where to get some help with him and where to get some parenting advice.

      • Bridgett P

        Well before you say we need professional help. Look into it for yourself. Now that the teacher sent me an email he felt like the child who’s family doesn’t have much needy in an aspect where you would understand needed the money more than we do. He did not go in my wallet nor my drawer. After he got home I asked him where he had gotten the 100 DOLLAR BILL. Not hundreds as you have stated. He said he was looking for change around the house and wanted to empty his bank for this little girl in his class. After looking under my bed he seen it (which could have fallen out while putting money in our emergency spot. My son has ADHD he does not learn by saying do nor do this. So I admire a creative way a certificate that says you got grounded is awesome because he sees it stated he reads to understand. Now that I know there are 2 Taylor’s in the class a boy and a girl I’m ok. He now knows if he sees cash to tell me and not keep it for himself or others. Kids don’t learn by telling them. When a child runs down a sidewalk how will they learn to nor run… they fall! I do not need any type of “professional help” my son isn’t a trouble maker he’s very caring and poilte. So instead of your words being rather rude. Maybe you could have helped by giving me questions on what to ask him and his teacher!

      • NatesMama1128

        Wow, judgmental much? You don’t even know the whole story and you’re such a special snowflake that you just KNOW they need professional help?!

        Wow. Pot, meet kettle.

  • opan riaa ocam rkae


  • opan riaa ocam rkae

    this seems awful


    im thinking if you want to use number four be prepared to accept DFS making a visit to your house. kids have a right to privacy. you are technically bound to leave the door on its hinges. you can however make it so they cant shut their door.

    • NatesMama1128

      There is absolutely no law against taking the door off a room in YOUR HOME. DFS wouldn’t come to a home for that reason, its MY house and if I want to remove a door, I most certainly can. There is actually NO right to privacy that would warrant a visit from Family Services.

      That’s mindboggling, that you would think that, to be honest. I’m sorry.

      • Lisa Matsie-Reilly

        Actually, in the state of IL, there’s something called “the Children’s Right to Privacy Act” which fully supports what Lisa posted, and one would be considered in violation of it if they were to take a previously properly-functioning door off of its’ hinges simply to make a point, or for the purposes of punishment should someone decide to report it to DCFS. Overall I’m sure it wouldn’t amount to much considering their caseload, but kids have rights, too. I know, right?? Who’d a thunk it?

        • NatesMama1128

          Parents who are not allowed to keep tabs on their kids get kids who shoot up schools because they’re hiding guns and bombs in the basement and in their rooms. Say that’s an extreme situation, but it happened. No reason why it couldn’t happen again.

          Also, yes…kids have a reasonable expectation of privacy. But that shouldn’t be all-encompassing. Parents should have the right to parent their children in the way they see fit, without being abusive, of course. The government needs to stay the hell out of our homes. End of story.

          • Lisa Matsie-Reilly

            You say the government should “stay out of our homes”, but the very reason they stepped in in the first place is because people were beating/molesting their children “as they saw fit”–same reason they now have right to privacy laws.
            Also, if parents actually have a relationship with their children instead of just being dictators who expect little robots who fall in line, they generally are aware if they’re building bombs in the basement, or if they’re going through severe mental illness and limit their access to weapons.

          • S.F.

            If parents have a relationship with their child, and want the best for them, they will prevent the child from ever getting to the point of building/hiding guns and bombs. That may involve taking a door off the hinges if the child has proved himself unable to behave responsibly in private. Because the child has been guided (not dictated to) from an early age, in things both big and small, they will not reach the point of deciding to obtain and use weapons of mass destruction.

            Furthermore, if my child is going through severe mental illness, I will limit his access to weapons. And if he is going through a “phase” of secret disobedience, I will ensure it remains only a phase by limiting his opportunities to commit disobedience in secrecy. This is not taking the part of a dictator, or expecting them to behave as a robot. This is teaching them to obey the house rules even in private, or they will temporarily lose their right to privacy. If an adult doesn’t obey the rules about theft, they will end up in jail with no privacy, and the rest of us citizens do not complain that they temporarily lost their rights. They could have avoided it by not stealing something from somebody else.

          • Lisa Matsie-Reilly

            Actually, most “adult thefts” end up in probation, not jail time. Seems as if most (if not all) of this craziness could be avoided by merely having a daily conversation with one’s child. Which starts with having a relationship with one’s child. Something many on this post don’t seem interested in, they prefer, and seemingly derive pleasure from, the discipline–not the actual parenting. Something I find extraordinarily sad. I’m done with this conversation, this wall is hurting my head.

  • Rue

    Ya’ll need to calm down, some of these are quite good and can be catered to the right situations but some may be too much for your child, depending on what they can handle etc. But be careful, disciplining your child too much or enforcing to harsh of a punishment (even you don’t believe it is) will easily create disobedient adolescent children. I know this from experience, don’t slack to much, but don’t be too harsh, or you will lose that connection with your child. Disagree with me all you want but I know from experience that’s how things pan out.

  • Lacy

    I think a lot of the parents on here are overreacting a little too much. Honestly, I am fourteen and I see nothing wrong with most of these! Maybe the parent using these consequences or punishments (I honestly don’t understand how there is much of a difference) should use them a little differently, but it is up to them. If you would like the insight of a child in this matter, then please continue to read!:)
    1.) Obviously I am considered too old for time-OUTs, but technically I am not. My grandmother always told me that time-out is not a bad thing, but rather a time to reflect and/or just take a “break”. I think that is just what time-IN is promoting. It is sort of a peaceful environment with an activity so that the child can think without being so caught up in the fact that this is a punishment!
    2.) This is definitely a good idea because it will “scare” the child into not doddling. A good addition may be to tell them that you are going to set the timer for a smaller amount of time than you actually will. For example: Let’s say your child needs to clean their room. It is moderately messy and should take them twenty-five minutes. Tell them you will give them fifteen minutes because that will make them work lot faster! So a job that should take them twenty-five minutes will only take them about twenty.
    3.) This is a very good idea! I like the fact that there is the blank one. Even if you are not religious (mine is not) it is still a good thing to teach about forgiveness! This could even be a jar just for morally wrong doings. If you wanted to, what you could do is put “charity” works in the jar. For example: reading to a younger sibling if they have one, or (if they’re older) working on a project in town. More charitable things that teach them a lesson, and then the blank one represents the lesson of forgiveness!
    4.) I have the doorknob taken off of my door before because I locked the door on my parents. They were not too happy about that… I defiantly NEVER did that again. I don’t even lock the door anymore. There have even been times when my little brother is running in and out of my room and my step dad TELLS me I can lock it. I am still afraid of locking the door. That’s how much I hated my doorknob being taken off. That one is solely up to the parent, so if I hated my doorknob being taken that much, I could only imagine what would happen if my door were taken off…
    5.) The whole bedtime thing doesn’t really apply to me, but I don’t believe that a child would willingly go to step if they were told to go early. The five minutes extra might be a better idea, but just for rewarding good behavior.
    6.) Obviously I’m not sixteen, so I’m not sure about this one, but only one day later doesn’t seem like much at all…
    7.) I don’t see how this is a punishment. Everyone should be helping to set the table and bring things out. If you want to stop dawdelers, then tell them if they dawdle to dinner, then you’ll just have too dawdle when dropping them off to (insert fun activity) tomarrow!
    8.)I, honestly, do not have sloppy handwriting, but I do not think that writing in cursive should be much of a chore. It should have never been excluded from the curriculum. Wherever you use this… I can’t really say much about this.
    9.) I think that if you make your child hold their tongue in public you might get a lot of strange looks. I agree that the noises are often very annoying, but maybe they shouldn’t hold it, but rather just stick it out!
    10.) My family travels a lot, so imagine being stuck in a car with a five year old boy, and a fifteen year old boy! My thirteen year old sister and I don’t get much peace… This is a pretty good idea, but I would get super annoyed if every time one of my brothers did something, that I would have to do the same as well!
    11.) I, for one, do not have my stuff strewn all over the house, but living with boys I know how frustrating it is to find my little brother’s soccor cleats laying in the living room, or my older brother’s freshly washed underwear on the kitchen counter! I line this idea, but make sure to let them know you hid them.
    12.) I’m not sure about this one only because no one in my family really plays with many toys. Occasionally my little brother will, but he’s more focused on beating my other brother at some video game with guns…
    13.) I laughed when I read this one! I’m sure after doing this a bunch they defiantly took it outside! I think this is a good and creative (and kind of funny to watch) punishment that is not harsh, but rather something they’ll be able to look back on and just laugh!
    14.) Code words are fun! I don’t see a problem with this at all!
    15.) I am a passive aggressive person, so I usually do not show my anger, but I admit that I have slammed a door once or twice, especially when I was younger! I had serious anger issues as a child and did not care who I hurt!! But recently (as in the past couple of years) I have slammed maybe one or two. I can see why you would have your child do this, but this would most likely only cause them to be even more frustrated with you. This only creates tension and if you are trying to get them to CALM DOWN, then would suggest a different approach at the for slamming…
    16.) This one may seem similar to the concept of the last one, but honestly it is completely different. I’d say this one is pretty good because it shows who is in charge some senses. Taking the “if you want to try me, then do it and I will make you then do it again” approach is a pretty smart idea. It also shows that you are to be respected and obeyed!
    17.) Same with number sixteen. This is okay!
    18.) This is a good one, because that’s true. I know from when I was younger that an audience was all I needed!!!
    19.) UGH!!!!!!!! My step dad does this alllllllllll the time! It defiantly annoys me because he says it a way that you can HEAR the smirk through his voice. It’s an okay one through. I did in fact learn how things worked, and it helped me the long run. It takes me half as long to do the dishes now than it did then! I could hold a record!!
    20.) I can see this one being very respected. This one us pretty good and I think is a good thing to use in the house.
    21.) This one has been getting a lot of argument. I understand where this parent was going with the idea, but I think I know a better way to achieve the same goal! After they are finished give them a pastor of thin latex gloves. Next, go outside with a plastic bag and everything that you find that was not picked up the the scooper, they will have to pick up with the gloves on and put into the bag. This isn’t as gross and is MUCH more sanitary!!!
    I hope this helped at least someone! I know that people do not like advise to be given to them by people younger than them, usually, but nonetheless I still hope that this coment put puts some of these things into perspective for you!:) But just remember too smile today!!!!!!!! And sometimes the best thing to do might be to just sit themdown and have a talk with them. Too many rules and punishments and consequences may often restrict creativity!!! Sometimes even just having them sit and read after you have had enough attitude may be a good idea!
    Thanx for reading!!!!! <3

  • Christina

    I would have killed for disciplinary actions like this. If I didn’t fill up the animals’ water dishes all the way, I had to do all of my chores with baking cocoa in my mouth (and when you live on a farm, that is a LOT of chores). If I didn’t want to finish my dinner, I got spanked with a Pampered Chef grilling spatula. Honestly these are a slap on the wrist compared to what I grew up with, and I am only 18.

  • Tarbo

    There seems to be a narrow window of age when lying can be easily corrected by ackknowledging the bravery of telling the truth. I got it right by accident with my first child, but didn’t know how important it was with the second child. Lying became a huge problem for him. Lying about things that didn’t matter, lies on lies to cover up lies. A friend had told me that her daughter slept on the floor for lying and it worked. So I tried it. We warned him about it, caught him in a lie and he slept on the floor for 2 weeks. We gave it back because he was sick – mistake. We had to take the bed away again for an entire summer when he his coach said that he was lying and then he lied about something else that he could have told the truth about. It worked fairly well. Sometimes he tries to lie, but fesses up right away.

  • gail

    My child in second grade was very low in reading
    So when she was grounded for any reason I made her go to the library and get a book with 100 PAGES OR MORE SHE had to read the book and when she was finished Her punishment would be over
    At the end of the school year she was the top notch reader in the class New she is 33 AND IS A SPEED READER AND LOVES TO READ

  • Patricia Williams

    I am going to try some of these. I’m surprised at number 18. A few weeks ago my son was throwing a temper tantrum and being very aggressive. I found myself getting angry so I told him what I have about 3 times in the past “You may not act that way in my house! Go outside until you have calmed down.” When he refused to go and tried to break something of mine I carried all 54 struggling pounds of him outside the door and told him that he could come back in as soon as he was ready to treat us and our house with respect.

    When I admitted that in a mommy group a few women freaked that that I made him leave my house. I was left feeling like I had done something worse than spanking my child which I was trying avoid. I felt like it was a good solution. He was right outside the door on a covered porch and I was monitoring him thru the window with my hand on the door knob. I thought it was a great idea. Especially since he quickly got the idea that he if he wanted to be inside he had to respect our rules. I hate to hear him but instead of a 20 or more minute battle of the wills he decided after 2 minutes of threatening and banging on the door that he’d better get control and promise to stop acting the way he had been so that he could come back back inside. I also got a few minutes to calm myself and think about what I wanted to say to him once I let him in.

    I wish I’d seen some of these like the door slamming idea long ago.

    • Susan Merrill

      I have 5 kids and only one of them did I use this same consequence on. My son would get so fired up, just like yours. He is very physical and a great athlete to this day. I often told him he had to leave the house for several reasons, not just because he was harming the house. When he hit the teen years he was sometimes disrespectful to his dad. I would look at him and say, this is my house and that is my husband and you cannot speak that way to my husband in my house. Then I would show him the door and I would say, I love you very much but you need to leave until you can be kind and respectful. I guess because I always used outside when he was smaller it still worked when he was older. He would usually apologize after he got his temper under control. Some kids just need space and to be alone to get control. He is an adult now and a very, very respectful one. I love him and I am proud of how he has learned to control himself.

  • Leonardo DaVincci

    These are great if your child actually does the consequences. But what if they don’t. What if they stand there and don’t do anything. Continue to yell, scream, or whatever, and then when it subsides, goes along as if nothing happened. So you decide to make sure the consequence happens, and make sure he does it, which starts the whole cycle over again.

    What do you parents do when the child is so defiant that he doesn’t blink at anything? Where do you go from there?

    • Joy Lee

      I wish I had the answer to that.

    • Anonymous

      This is a very good question. My daughter is exactly like this, but she is the only one of my three kids that do this. So, I don’t know as though it is something I do as a parent.

  • gina

    Please, please PLEASE do not make food or bedtime the subject of either reward or punishment! Whether it’s reward or punishment, you are asking for trouble with food issues and sleep/bedtime issues! Keep those things separate from discipline! I also don’t agree with making basic chores a punishment.

  • Joy Lee

    When my kids say anything about being bored, they are required to sit and do nothing (including having conversations) until they list 10 things they would rather be doing (and could be doing) than sitting in time-out. I almost never hear my own kids use the bored word anymore, but they are maybe a little too happy to catch their cousins and enforce the rule on them…

    • Caitie Fredrickson

      That is an awesome idea! Totally stealing that!

  • Zach Ball

    Going to try some of these

  • Mikael Caitlin Perry

    Wow. Whoever wrote this article has no idea what they are doing. Maybe 2 of the tips were actually both effective and non detrimental to developing children.

  • Becky

    This is a pretty good list, some of them are more drastic than others. I don’t think you should ever take a child’s door off it’s hinges. All kids need privacy, they’re their own person, and I think taking their door down is infringing on that.

    • S.F.

      Everybody deserves privacy, it is a basic right, isn’t it? But if you get caught committing a theft, you may end up in jail with no privacy. I’m not complaining, because I don’t want you stealing from me. If my child regularly commits misdeeds behind closed doors, he’s going to have limited access to closed doors for a time. The great thing about this, is that as a parent, I can judge when my child may have actually learned their lesson and test it out by putting their door back on. Once they reach adulthood, don’t think they need to obey the rules if nobody sees, and ends up getting caught stealing, the authorities have a lot less ability to determine whether the lesson was learned than I do now with my child who I know and love very well.

  • Sarah

    Some good ideas, but #10 (nose to knees) isn’t a very safe use in the car!