What Men Want from Their Wives


what men want

Want to know what men want from their wives? Well, one of the best books written on that subject is celebrating its 30th publishing anniversary this year—and it’s still one of Amazon’s top sellers! The book is His Needs, Her Needs, and in it, author Dr. Willard F. Harley shares the most common needs of men and women. Of course, not everyone has the same needs, and that’s where a short questionnaire comes in handy.

To find out what your husband wants, you can use our questionnaire based on Dr. Hartley’s but quite a bit shorter.

Get started on the questionnaire here.

First, here are the 10 basic needs Dr. Hartley compiled:

  1. Affection
  2. Sexual fulfillment
  3. Intimate conversation
  4. Recreational companionship
  5. Honesty and openness
  6. Physical attractiveness of spouse
  7. Financial support
  8. Domestic support
  9. Family commitment
  10. Admiration

Print a questionnaire for you and your husband to fill in separately. Answer each on a scale of 1 – 5, with 5 being the highest, and 1 the lowest. After you’ve completed the questions, share your answers with each other, and refer to our suggested links to go deeper.

Affection:

My need for affection from my spouse is: _____
I would like more affection from my spouse: _____

4 Ways to Add More Affection to Your Marriage

Sexual Fulfillment:

My need for sexual fulfillment from my spouse is: _____
I would like more sexual fulfillment from my spouse: _____

Good Sex Starts With Good Communication

Intimate Conversation:

My need for intimate conversation from my spouse is: _____
I would like more intimate conversation from my spouse: _____

Marriage TALK Conversation Starters

Recreational companionship

My need for recreational companionship from my spouse is: _____
I would like more recreational companionship from my spouse: _____

Ideas for Ways to Have Fun Together

Honesty and openness

My need for honesty and openness from my spouse is: _____
I would like more honesty and openness from my spouse: _____

Why Honesty is So Important in Marriage

Physical attractiveness of spouse

My need for an attractive spouse is: _____
I would like my spouse to take more initiative in his/her appearance: _____

Being Content With Our Appearance 

Financial support

My need for financial security is: _____
I would like my spouse to take more initiative in providing financial security: _____

8 Ways to Stop Fighting With Your Husband About Money

Domestic support

My need for domestic support is: _____
I would like my spouse to take more initiative in providing domestic support: _____

Who Does What At Home

Family commitment

My need for family commitment is: _____
I would like my spouse to show more family commitment: _____

Family Life Need A Change?

Admiration

My need for admiration is: _____
I would like my spouse to show me more admiration: _____

If Your Husband Needs More Admiration…

What is your top need in marriage? What about your husband’s?

Source: His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Dr. Willard F. Harley

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