“I can’t do this anymore,” my friend Rebecca sobbed one day. “What do you mean?” I asked.
It’s a sad reality that lots of women are stretched over such a multitude of roles in life that they suffer from feeling unhappy, frustrated, and discontent. We polled our Facebook friends to see where they struggle most to feel satisfied and based on their feedback and some expert advice we’ve zeroed in on 4 reasons why moms are discontent and what you can do about it.
1. Never Enough Money.
For most of us—no. We have such an insatiable desire for stuff, that it takes a lot of cash flow to keep buying it. Whether it’s clothes to make us beautiful (see #4), furniture to make our homes like the pages of Pottery Barn, or great vacations, when is it enough? Oddly, it seems like the more we consume, the more we think we need.
Make a change: Some people report a big spike in their personal level of contentment after making a decision to fast from buying things for a time. We know it seems counter intuitive, but if your need for money is working you to death and leaving you ever-dissatisfied, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate.
2. The Work Force.
If you’re in your 30s or 40s, you were brought up in a post-feminist world. A world where you were taught that you could, and maybe even should achieve great things in the workplace. For some women, professional achievement is a great source of satisfaction. For others, it’s a touchstone for frustration for a variety of reasons. It may be the glass ceiling that you’re continually banging your head against as you try to rise in the ranks, or it may be the feeling of conflict that arises when work life and home life collide.
Make a change: Whatever your personal choices, you have to be certain of why you’re doing it (is it the money, the self-esteem that comes with achievement, the desire to make a difference in your field?) and make sure that your expectations of it are reasonable. Your career, just like any other facet of your life, can never fill the contentment hole alone.
3. The Non-Storybook Marriage.
What? No white horse? No happily ever after? What is this? It’s real life. It’s a marriage made up of two imperfect people, which mathematically adds up to an imperfect marriage. Not bad, mind you. Just not ending-of-a-Hollywood-chick-flick perfect.
Make a change: So instead of comparing your marriage to a big-screen ideal, or to other couples around you, focus on what you’ve got and how to make it the best it can be, along with these 8 realistic expectations for a great marriage. Trust us, we’ve seen some imperfect, but really great marriages.
4. Their Image.
We talk a lot about the pressure placed upon girls and teens to meet a certain standard for appearance. But what is our culture doing to Mom? Suddenly, it’s not OK to age naturally or look a little differently physically after giving birth to your children. The bar is set so high in the beauty category that we’ll spend any amount of money, undergo surgery, or invest any amount of time to achieve a certain look. And still, after all that effort, most women aren’t happy with their appearance.
Make a change: Ask yourself: Am I chasing an impossible standard? Sure, it’s important to take care of yourself and stay healthy and active. But try not to be so hard on yourself or believe these other 11 mombligations.
Tell us! What is your biggest area of discontent?