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38 Things Accepting Mothers Say

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My daughter is a bit on the quiet side. She’s not anti-social, but she usually has just one or two good friends at a time. I was talking to another mom about that the other day and she gave me ideas for getting my daughter to branch out. I thought they sounded pretty good. But later, when I was sharing those ideas with my sister she said, “I don’t know. You don’t want to send a message that you think there’s something wrong with her. She needs to know that you think she’s great.” After all, kids spend much of their time judging people and she has to deal with that constantly.

That’s when I started thinking that our kids really don’t need makeovers. They are who they are. Sure, we can help them do better when necessary, but we don’t want them to feel like something’s wrong with them. Most of all, they need to know we accept them as they are. Author Fred. A Hartley put it beautifully, “Parenting begins with my acceptance of who my child is, not who I want him to be, not who I think he is, not who I think he should become. Good parenting means I die to my ambition for him. He may have my gender, my looks, even my name, but that may be as far as the similarity goes. That doesn’t mean for a moment that he will share my ambitions, my personality, or my values. Parenting begins with a big embrace for who my child is.”

With that in mind, here are 38 things accepting mothers say to their kids.

  1. “I love you for who you are right now, not just for who you will become.”
  2. “I like you just the way you are, not for who I can make you be.”
  3. “I smile when I see you sleeping; even when you sleep through Little League tryouts.”
  4. “I embrace you for one simple, overarching reason – you are you and nobody else.”
  5. “You are one-of-a-kind, unique, special, significant.”
  6. “I would not trade you for anyone in this world.”
  7. “You are not perfect, but you are good enough for me.”
  8. “You are not perfect, but you are perfect for me.”
  9. “I take you as my son (daughter) not because of what you do but simply because you are my son (daughter).”
  10. “I take you as my son (daughter) not because of what you accomplish – not because you get straight As, score a goal in the soccer game, win the science fair, or earn the scholarship to Yale University.”
  11. “I will love you if you pass or if you fail.”
  12. “I love you because you are you.”
  13. “There is nothing you will ever do to make me love you more.”
  14. “There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less.”
  15. “You are you, and I’d lay down my life to defend your right to be the unique person you are.”
  16. “You are you, and I wouldn’t take a billion dollars for you. In fact, if necessary, I’d give a billion dollars to protect your life and your individuality.”
  17. “You are without question one of the choicest gifts God has ever given to me.”
  18. “You are the best son (daughter) a mom (dad) could ever have.”
  19. “Just being with you – by your side – makes me feel rich. It gives me pleasure to just think about you.”
  20. “You are growing up well.”
  21. “I like the way God made you.”
  22. “You are unique.”
  23. “We share much in common, but you are your own person.”
  24. “You inspire me.”
  25. “I admire you.”
  26. “Watching you makes me feel like my life has been worth living.”
  27. “You give me hope.”
  28. “You are a winner!”
  29. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.”
  30. “I love watching you become your own person.”
  31. “I accept you for who you are.”
  32. “There is no one else who could ever take your place.”
  33. “Don’t let others squeeze you into their mold.”
  34. “Be unique.”
  35. “Dare to be different.”
  36. “You can make your own choices.”
  37. “I will still be your mom (dad) no matter what. If you end up behind bars – God forbid – I will never leave you; I will never forsake you.”
  38. “No matter how much you ever disappoint me – which you may never do – I will always be proud to be your mom (dad).”

And be sure to avoid these 15 Things Moms Should Never Say.

Tell us! Which one of these do you say most often to your kids?

Taken with permission from Parenting at Its Best: How to Raise Children with a Passion for Life, by Fred A. Hartley


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