When my husband and I were first dating, we had no problem making time for one another. We spent hours on the phone every evening, and it didn’t matter if we woke up tired the next day. But something happened when things became familiar. Maybe you’ve heard or even believe that all couples go through the newly-in-love stage only to eventually settle down into a comfortable routine with one another in the best case, and a miserable fall-out-of-love, in the worst case. Many people struggle with how to get the spark back in their marriage. But what if it’s possible to keep your relationship exciting?
Here are 5 ways to make your marriage exciting again.
1. Talk about meaningful things.
Dr. John Gottman talks about the importance of having open-ended conversations. These are the types of conversations you used to have when you were dating when you asked one another about your hopes and dreams. Talk about the things that are most important to you.
2. Go on a vacation together or take an entire day getaway together.
Sometimes it’s a fresh place that gives us a new perspective on our relationship and reinvigorates the romance as we take time to be refreshed and get away from the daily grind and everyday stresses.
3. Spend time apart cultivating your individual hobbies or passions.
When you come back together, you’ll have new energy and excitement to share with your partner. Doing something you love will infuse new joy into your life, new joy which you’ll get to share with your partner.
4. Be intentional in hugging, kissing and cuddling.
Physical touch produces feel-good hormones, which will bring you closer together and maybe even contribute to spicing up your romance.
5. Don’t harbor anger or bitterness.
(Are you seeing your partner through a negative or critical lens because of built-up resentments?) When we feel able to talk about the things that annoy, irritate or hurt us, we can more easily let them go, which will help us feel genuinely closer to our spouse. Becoming honest leads to a vulnerability which leads to greater intimacy.
Tell us! What are some ways you reignite the spark in your relationship?
Cassandra Soars has published various national magazine articles on a wide range of topics, including life in Mozambique, Africa, where she lived for five years. Her first book Love Like Fire: The Story of Heidi Baker is available on Amazon.
