It’s common for parents to think, “My child would never look at porn. We’ve raised good kids. They know better.” But the cold, hard truth is that the porn industry is pursuing our kids online. The average age a child will accidentally see porn for the first time is between ages 9 and 13. By the time they’ve hit their teenage years, 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to pornography, and 57% of young adults actively seek out pornography frequently (monthly or more often).
Porn is a very real threat to our children and, what’s worse, many kids don’t understand the magnitude of the risk it poses. In fact, only 32% of teens and young adults say viewing porn is wrong, but adults know better. We see the long-term, detrimental impact porn can have on the mental, emotional, and spiritual health of anyone who watches it, and we know the vital need to battle against porn. So here are 7 steps you can take if you have a child addicted to porn.
1. Say, “I love you.” Then, say it again.
Many children initially stumble onto pornography by accident, but they keep coming back for a variety of reasons. Some children use porn because they think it’ll help them in their “real” relationships. Others don’t believe they are worthy of a relationship, so they use porn as an alternative. Some are simply responding to the unnaturally high levels of dopamine their brain gets when they watch porn.
Whatever the case, continued use often leads to addiction. Children find they need to view more porn—and more extreme and sometimes more violent porn—to get the same sexual release, similar to the struggles an alcoholic or drug addict would experience. There is a lot of shame involved with this cycle, and children need to be reminded repeatedly that nothing they do will ever change the fact that you love them.
2. Remind your child he or she is a victim.
Most first exposures to pornography are accidental, and even though continued pornography viewing is a bad choice on your child’s part, there are others to blame. The people who create and circulate pornography seek out vulnerable individuals, including children, and turn them into victims.
3. Applaud your child’s honesty.
Not all people addicted to porn can admit they have a problem. Many will lie about porn habits rather than admit the truth, especially a child when confronted by a parent. Your child defied the odds and should be commended for being honest. By admitting to a problem and accepting your support, your child has taken the first step on the path to healing.
4. Lay ground rules for home life, limiting your child’s access to technology.
If your child is looking at porn, or if you suspect you have a child addicted to porn, you’ve got to get the house rules in place. Basic house rules should include no technology in the bedroom or bathroom (including cell phones). Allow technology only in public areas—and only while other people are around. Usually, this means setting a nightly curfew for technology use.
5. Use filtering software.
Covenant Eyes and Bark are a couple of the most popular filtering tools you can use to safeguard your kids. It’s important to use these tools on all computers, tablets, gaming systems, cell phones, and smart TVs. Think outside the box to make sure you are considering all the ways your child might access the internet.
6. Encourage open conversations with your child.
Continued support and regular check-ins will help protect your child from further exposure to porn. By giving your kids the space to open up about struggles with pornography, you will be in a better position to offer them the support they need.
Open conversations are also a wonderful opportunity to pray with your child. Porn addiction affects a person’s mental, emotional, and spiritual health, and prayer can be a vital part of the healing process.
7. If necessary, seek professional guidance.
If you’re unsure where to begin, consider asking your child’s pediatrician. Many children addicted to porn have been able to rise above the temptation without professional support, but there’s nothing wrong with seeking outside assistance.
What steps have you taken to protect your kids from pornography?
